“Then why -?”
“Because we can give each other something that we can’t give to anyone else.”
“What?”
“Trust. It takes a lot for us to trust someone. He has mine and I have his.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you need to decide, cupcake. He can’t handle the up in the air stuff. He needs to know what’s happening. He needs to know where your head is at and where this is going. He won’t be able to fully admit how he feels until he does.”
She hums and nods as he kisses her head. I watch as she settles against him, wishing more than anything it was me. Maddox’s eyes flit to mine. The fucker knew I was listening. Watching. He was prodding her, drawing everything out because he knew I wouldn’t hear it otherwise. He trapped me like the fuckingbestbest friend he is. He raises his brows, sending me a silent message.
The door has been opened. Now, I just have to walk through. The question is, am I ready for that?
Heaven
Only Heaven Knows
I don’t wake up on the sofa I fell asleep on. I wake up in the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on in my life with the softest sheets known to man covering my body. I lift the covers to see I am wearing a t-shirt instead of the sweats and hoodie I came here in. The smell of bacon has my stomach growling and coffee has my mouth watering.
The clock on the nightstand says it is three o’clock. Another day gone. It’s been a pattern for me since my grandmother died. All I want to do is sleep so I don’t have to think about the fact that she isn’t here anymore.
But I’ve missed Ryder.
Last night, in the middle of the night no less, I jumped in my car to come here. I was more than a little shocked when he and Maddox came stumbling off the elevator. The bloody knuckles and cut over his eye and on his lip were a dead giveaway that he’d been fighting.
I wanted to wrap him up and make it better. Until he blamed me.
I was angry at first. And hurt. When Maddox explained it to me, though, my heart cracked. I can’t let Ryder continue to treat me like that, but I see now, if he didn’t feel something for me, he wouldn’t react like he does.
I reluctantly climb out of the super soft bed and make my way to the connecting bathroom. Once I’ve managed to get my teeth brushed and face washed, I look for my clothes. My face warms as I think about the fact one of them undressed me. Fortunately, they left my bra and panties so it’s really no different than them seeing me in a bathing suit. Still, the thought makes me blush.
I walk into the kitchen and find wide, bare shoulders with low-slungsweatpants standing over the stovetop. The warmth I felt in my face earlier dips lower as I take in the cut of his back. I’ve always had a thing for back muscles and Ryder’s are beautiful.
I admire him for several seconds before he turns around, giving me a delicious view of his abs. My eyes trail the enticing V and that little trail from his belly button down to -.
“See something you like, pixie?”
My eyes snap to his mischievous ones. I can feel the red, hot flush of embarrassment creeping up my neck once again. I quickly duck my head to the plate of food he just placed in front of me like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.
Several seconds pass with nothing but silence filling the air. I sneak a couple of quick glances at Ryder. He looks worse for the wear today. Bruising has settled over his jaw and the cut over his eye looks like it probably needs stitches. Each time I look, he’s staring at me. His face is unreadable, and it is driving me insane. I want to know what he’s thinking. Why is he staring at me so hard?
“Thank you for this.” I gesture to my mostly empty plate as I push it away. “I know you probably didn’t feel like doing it.”
“Why would you think that?” His head tilts to the side as he bites his cheek.
“I just mean you probably have a massive hangover or something.” I duck my head again, not having a clue how to navigate anything with him right now.
“I don’t really get hangovers, but even when I do, they don’t usually bother me like most people.” He pauses for a second before dropping his own head. “Heaven, I’m sorry about last night.”
“Ryder, I —”
“No. Let me finish. I was an asshole. I let my past cloud my judgment. I projected everything onto you, and that wasn’t fair. It also wasn’t fair for me to blame you for losing my temper and getting into a fight or getting arrested.”
“You got arrested?” I gasp.
“Not the first time. Probably won’t be the last either. Point is, I’m sorry. I know apologies don’t make up for anything. It’s just—” He trails off and I wonder if he’s going to continue. With a shake of his head, he rounds the island to stand directly in front of me. He grips my face, not hard but firm enough to hold me in place. “You are under my fucking skin, pixie. I have never woken thinking about a woman beyond getting between her legs. I have never worried if I upset one. I have never given a single fuck about anyone outside of myridiculously smallcircle. But dammit if I don’t do all those things over you. You’ve make me lose control and I don’t like it.”
