I fall onto the sofa with very little grace. The minute I close my eyes, the room decides it’s taking me on a ride to Oz.
“Just come inside for a minute, Heaven. I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to talk to him.”
“He is completely trashed,” she exclaims. “He’s not going to listen to me when he’s like that, and I’m not wasting my breath. Frankly, after what he just said, I’m not sure I want to at all.”
“He’s not thinking straight, cupcake. Just wait it out. Let him sober up. Then talk to him.”
“He can’t apologize every time he’s an asshole and think it will just go away, Maddox. Why does he look like he’s been twelve rounds? And why did he say I did it?”
“Because when he didn’t hear from you for a few days, he went to find you. Heidi told him you left.”
“I did leave.” She sounds exasperated and confused. Even though I’m not looking, I know she is flailing her arms around in frustration. “I didn’t mean to ghost him, but I had a family emergency.”
“And you couldn’t tell us that?” Maddox scoffs.
“I wasn’t thinking, Madsy. I was upset when I left. Then I left my phone at a gas station on the way, so I couldn’t callyou.”
“What was the emergency?”
She’s quiet for a minute. Why is she quiet? Can’t she come up with a believable excuse?
Then I hear her sniff. I hurt myself with how hard my eyes roll. She’s going to bring out the tears and Maddox is going to fall for it.
“It doesn’t matter what the emergency was,” she whimpers. “It’s late and I obviously shouldn’t have come. I just wanted to see him. Guess that was a mistake, huh?”
“What happened, Heaven?” Maddox has changed his tone. He’s falling for her hook, line, and sinker. “Come on.”
I hear the door close and footsteps on the hardwood floors. I snap my eyes shut so they don’t know I’m listening.
“Talk to me, cupcake. What happened?”
“My grandmother,” Heaven sniffs again. “She – uh – she had a stroke.”
“I’m sorry, cupcake,” Maddox nearly whispers. “Is she going to be okay?”
“No,” her voice cracks. I can’t resist peeking through my eyelids to see her. Tears stream down her face like a river. So much sadness flows from her that it nearly drowns me. Maddox pulls her into his arms as she sobs. “She didn’t make it.”
My flipping stomach takes a nosedive. Her pain is a living, breathing entity in the room, and it forces me to relive memories of my own losses. Losses that I refuse to think about most days, but I understand that gut wrenching sob that escapes her. Suddenly, I’m not angry with her. I’m angry with myself. I want to go to her and comfort her. It should be me with my arms around her, not Maddox. He understands her pain too, but I want it to be me.
Instead, I’m unable to lift a finger because of my drunken stupor. Because I wanted to let my anger control me instead of waiting for all the facts. I let the rage and fury caused by my past cloud my judgement.
I always push everything down, but I didn’t push that down. Now, it’s Maddox she’s leaning on.
“I should just go.” She’s no longer sobbing, but the pain is still there. “He doesn’t want me here anyway.”
“Do you like Ryder, cupcake?” Maddox asks her.
“I like all of you.”
“Don’t deflect. He might’ve been lashing out, but he’s right. Playing dumb is not a good look on you.”
“I do, Maddox, but I can’t let him treat me poorly because of it.”
“Ryder isn’t easy to love, Heaven. He’s got a lot of rage inside him. He doesn’t let people in very often because he’s been hurt and let down by the people who should’ve been there for him.He’s an asshole more often than not. It’s his defense mechanism. People can’t hurt him if he pushes them away.Butwhen he does let you in,he’s worth it because he’s all-in. He never does anything halfway. It’s intense and sometimes suffocating, but it’s also beautiful.”
“You love him.”
“I do. And he loves me. Not like you’re thinking though, so don’t go there.”
