“Maddox, wake up,” I beg as I shake him.
“Come on, Ryder,” Jake says, pulling me away. “Let’s get him some help.”
Tears stream down my face as I back away. “He can’t die.”
I can’t lose my best friend.
Heaven
Tangled Up In You
I rush through the automatic doors of the hospital to the receptionist desk. I give her my name and wait as she buzzes me through to the private waiting room. When I walk in, I stop breathing. The sight of the four grown men with red eyes and hanging heads breaks my heart.
Dane sits in one chair, with a hand covering his mouth, looking a million miles away. Jake sits across from him, head leaned back towards the ceiling and eyes closed. If it weren’t for the look of pain on his face, I’d think he was sleeping. Angel leaned forward on his elbows, hands folded in front of him with bouncing knees, and anxiety rolling off him in waves.
I turn my attention toward Ryder and nearly crumble to the ground. Leaned forward with his head buried in his hands, I watch his shoulders heave. I cover my mouth to prevent the sob in my throat from escaping as I go to sit next to him.
I place a hand on his back, he tenses for a second before he turns his head to look at me. Defeat and hopelessness mar his perfect face causing tears to run down mine. “What are you doing here?” His voice is raw and gravelly and full of ache.
“Delilah works here. She called me when he was brought in.”
“You didn’t have to come. You have enough to worry about.”
“Which has always included all of you. Even if we were miles and years apart.”
I watch as shadows run through his eyes. Anger and fear. Heartbreak and sorrow. Regret and remorse. They all play through him in a battle for victory. I reach up, running my hand softly across his stubbled cheek. His eyes close as he leans into it for a moment. Then he’s sliding from the chair onto the floor in front of me. He wraps his arms tightly around my waist as he buries his face into my chest. Sobs shakes his body as he breaks in my arms. I run my fingers through his hair, kissing his head, doing anything I can to bring him a little comfort.
“I can’t lose him, pixie. Losing him would be like losing part of me.”
“Shh, I know, baby,” I whisper into his hair. “You’re not going to lose him.”
“I can’t lose you either. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.”
I shudder and shake under the weight of those words. The real meaning behind them. Knowing he doesn’t mean in a world where we are not together. But I don’t let them pull me from the present. I can’t. I have to live for now, and not what lies ahead in the next two or three decades.
I lean back, taking his face into my hands. I look into his beautifully broken eyes, wishing so badly I could rip those demons and pain away from him. But all I have to give is a simple promise that I have made every day since the day I met him. “I will always be with you, Ryder. I always have been.”
He squeezes me tighter, as more cries of pain and sorrow shake his body. I look at the other men in the room. They’re watching with affection and understanding and approval.
“Thank you,” Dane mouths to me. I nod with an unsteady smile.
“Masters’ family?” a voice calls from the door.
We all look up to see a younger guy, the doctor, probably in his mid-thirties walking into the room. He looks over all of us with a knowing look.
“Not family,” he nods. “But given the circumstances, I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me telling you how he’s doing.”
“Oh, he’ll fucking mind,” Ryder says wearily as he gets to his feet. “Unfortunately for him, we have paperwork to show you can share anything you need with us. We all do.”
The doctor gives a relieved breath. “Since you were the ones who brought him in, I assume you realized Mr. Masters suffered from a heroin overdose. Correct?”
They all nod as I gasp. Delilah didn’t tell mewhyMaddox was brought in. Just that he was there, and that it was bad.
I think back to all those years ago when we were younger. All the times that Maddox never drank anything stronger than a soda. More often than not, he was nursing bottles of water. He was an addict.Heisan addict.
I wonder when he fell back into his addiction. What happened to make him give up on something he always seemed determined to maintain?
“We gave him Narcan when he was brought back to counteract the heroine. Do any of you know how long he’s had this problem?” the doctor asks.
