Something about that look sent a bolt of heat straight to my core. He was so near, and yet so far off in the ways that counted. I wanted to be closer, but just in time, I recalled those girls.
I had to ask, "If I hadn't shown up tonight…" I paused and looked away. I almost couldn't say it.
His voice was softer now. "What?"
"Would've you left with them. I mean,reallyleft with them?"
Slowly, he shook his head. "No. And you wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because they weren't you."
The words were exactly what I wanted to hear. And yet, I couldn't help but wonder how far that claim went. "But like in the past two weeks," I persisted, "what have you been doing?"
"Nothing."
I bit my lip. "Do I need to ask the other question?"
Again, he moved a fraction closer. "Whohave I being doing? Is that what you wanna know?"
Suddenly, my lips felt very dry. "Maybe."
"You think you're that easy to forget?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "People have different ways of forgetting."
"Not me. Not since you. Now, you want an answer to that question?"
Silently, I nodded.
"Alright." His gaze locked onto mine. "No one."
Relief coursed through me, and I let out a long, unsteady breath.
Joel moved a fraction closer, and his voice became nearly a caress. "I wanna kiss you."
And just like that, my knees went almost too wobbly to stand. "What?"
His eyes searched mine. "But if you want me to leave, just say the word."
I blinked. "And you would?"
"The truth?" He hesitated. "I dunno."
It was funny. I felt the same way. Already, tonight had been roller coaster ride of emotions. Even now, not a single thing had been resolved. But he was so achingly close. And I did want that kiss.
Standing there, in that desolate parking lot, I realized something. A kiss wasn't the only thing I wanted. Against any sense of self-preservation, I wanted to feel him inside me, right here, right now. I wanted proof that he still cared. And I wanted to believe that by some miracle, he was still mine and only mine.
In a breathless whisper, I confessed, "I don't want you to leave."
"Good." And with that, he lowered his head and gave me a kiss so intense, it sent my pulse jumping. As his mouth claimed my own, I sagged against him and gave a muffled moan of pure bliss as he wrapped me in his arms and pressed his body tight and hard against mine.
Through the haze of love and lust, I vaguely realized that my back was now pressed against my car door. I should've been cold. I should've been uncomfortable. I should've cared that we were outside, and that I was in a strange town with a guy who'd made me cry not too long ago.
But suddenly, none of that mattered. When his lips left mine, I couldn’t stop myself from whispering, "I missed you."
His hands were in my hair, and his lips were trailing tender kisses down my neck. "I missed you, too." His breathing was ragged, just like my own, even as he said, "I've been so fucking miserable. You have no idea."
