Actually, I did. I'd been miserable, too. I'd been lost in sleepless nights and empty days. I'd been wandering the places we used to go, searching for some sign of him – or at the very least, a memory to keep me going for another day.
I was trembling, now. And maybe he was trembling, too. Into my hair, he whispered, "I love you." He clutched me tighter. "God, I love you so fucking much."
My breath caught. "You do? Still?"
"You've gotta ask?"
No. I didn't. I could hear it in his voice. I could feel it in his touch. And I swear, I could sense it crackling in the air around us, like a fire, refusing to be put out.
I almost wanted to cry, but this time, it wasn't with sadness. "I love you, too. I never stopped." I drew a nervous breath. "And Joel?"
"Yeah?"
"I want you." I swallowed. "And I mean right now."
