“You know you don’thaveto do this. Ellie would understand.”
Of course, she would understand. Ellie’s the reasonable one. Even when she was on the fertility hormones with her sixth round of IVF, she was very rational and easygoing.
My eyes dart around the restaurant patio before finally meeting Sam’s. Her stare makes me feel uncomfortable, like she can see right through me. See my hesitation. It’s unnerving. But, she also knows that once I’ve made up my mind to do something, it’s pretty much full steam ahead.
“Of course, but I want to do it. For Ellie. And Josh. They’re my family. And helping them start their own family is a win for me, too. I get to be an aunt. You tell me all the time how cool that is.”
I’ve got Sam with that one. She smiles and I can tell she’s thinking of her own nieces and nephews. Both her older brothers have kids and she’s pretty smitten with them, especially the youngest of the group, Stella, who’s eighteen months and has the blondest hair, it’s nearly white, and curly. Sam’s always sharing cute videos of her cuddling the family dog, or pointing at things and speaking unintelligible words.
“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.”
“So, it might be weird and uncomfortable and scary but I really want to try.”
Sam nods, “Okay.” Then she smiles. “It’s going to be a wild ride.”
14
Cole
By Wednesday I’ve had three restless nights of sleep and I’m tired as fuck. The fact that Brooke snuck out of my apartment early Sunday morning after our night together has been weighing on my mind. At first, I thought it was just a bruised ego that had me in a funk. Did she not have a good time? It had been a little over six months since I’d had sex, a drunken hookup at a buddy’s destination wedding back in December, but from where I was positioned, Brooke was enjoying herself. As the days have passed and I’ve gotten more irritable about the situation, I’ve started to think there is more to it. I had fun with Brooke and I thought our connection was more than a one-night stand. There’s no question I’m attracted to her, but I also enjoyed our banter, her contagious laugh and the way she made me feel hopeful.
I had planned to wake her with my dick, make her come again, then take her to breakfast, but I woke up to an empty bed. No sign that she had even been there other than the pillowcase her head had been on smelled like her shampoo, vanilla and mint, and the faint nail marks she left on my shoulder.
After I analyzed Brooke’s exit, I went for a run, then scrambled some eggs. The rest of my Sunday was my usual routine of golf with my college buddies, then I stopped by BookBar for a smoothie, hoping to run into Brooke there. I had no clue if she frequented that bookstore or if it was a one-time stop. If she lived nearby or on the other side of the city.
I left with my full smoothie intact and no sign of Brooke. Later at dinner with my family, Carrie was pushing to set me up with her yoga instructor again. The week before I had definitely been open to it. But now, after having had an amazing night with Brooke, I don’t know what to think. It’s not like we’re dating. Shit, I don’t even know her last name or where she lives, let alone a phone number to reach her. But I can’t stop thinking about her, which makes it challenging to think about going out on a date with another woman. I’ve never been able to juggle multiple women like some of my friends have. Even when I was dating casually, not looking for anything serious, I found it difficult to see more than one woman at a time.
I’m reviewing a patient’s chart in the hallway when Lois, my OB nurse, approaches me. Lois has been with me since I opened my practice, and working in the nursing profession for another thirty years before that. She’s no-nonsense, can clear a group of chatting nurses from twenty feet away, and still manages to comfort freaked-out patients with a soothing voice. She’s tough as nails, with a heart of gold.
As she approaches, I notice her scrub top has cats all over it. Upon closer inspection, it’s cats with bodies shaped like avocados, the pit located at the stomach region, with the word ‘avocato’ printed all over. Only Lois can be taken seriously while wearing that scrub top.
Lois’s short dark hair has a few more grays than it did when we started working together. Her small, dark-framed reading glasses are currently pushed to the top of her head.
“All right, what’s her name?”
I look down at the file in my hand. “Sarah Thomas.”
Lois shakes her head.
“Not the patient, the woman you’ve been moping around about all week.”
Lois and I work well together, with mutual respect, to provide our patients with the best care possible. But, when she gets a spare moment, she loves to put her two cents in about my personal life. Mainly that I need to get one. She’s been married for nearly thirty years and her youngest child, of four, just finished their first year in college, so she has a few things figured out.
“I haven’t been moping.” My eyes narrow at Lois’s observation. Usually, I find Lois’s insight to be helpful professionally, but right now her perceptiveness is irritating when it’s directed at me. “I don’t mope.”
“Mmmhmm.” Lois purses her lips.
I didn’t share anything about Brooke with the guys on Sunday. Two of our golf foursome are married with young kids, the third is engaged and although we’re good friends and have talked about relationships in the past, it would have been difficult to explain what the situation is with Brooke when I don’t even know. I didn’t tell my mom or Carrie about Brooke because I didn’t need them analyzing every detail of the situation, and because I really don’t want to share anything about my sex life with them. They’d probably try to hire a private investigator to track her down. There’s a thought. Maybe I’m overanalyzing it all. My hope for a relationship and having a family is making me rush into things, want to commit to the first woman that I find interesting. And I do find Brooke interesting. Sassy and quirky and sexy, too. I didn’t know all those things could go together so well. The sex was hot, but I also felt like I connected with Brooke. It didn’t feel like two strangers fumbling their way through a one-time hookup. I want more time with her, to get to know her, and a repeat of everything we did Saturday night, but now I have no idea if or when I’ll see her again.
I’m frustrated with the situation and maybe that’s making me a little irritable.
“The best ones are worth the trouble, eh?” Lois winks at me, then takes the file out of my hands.
I decide to put Brooke out of my mind, and do what I do best. Work.
15
Brooke
