“You do know that I’m in excellent shape, right?” I admit it. I flexed.
He smirked. The corners of his mouth made the small dimples form that I wanted to stick my finger in. “Yes, I am well aware. But singing and walking will be a little harder than you expect. Start slow and move up as you feel comfortable.” He pressed the button and turned back towards the piano. I cranked it up until I had a fast walk happening.
He was right and kept correcting me as he leaned against the piano. I tried to keep my voice steady as I walked and sang the scales. My voice kept breaking with every foot fall. He kept his distance as I failed.
“Don’t breathe from your chest. You’re falling into bad habits, Darren,” he barked. “Use the diaphragm to control the airflow, and your voice will stop cracking. Feel the pressure and push against it as you sing.”
“I’m trying…”
He slapped the piano. “You can do better. You’re in better shape than any vocal student in the history of this college. Push it.”
“I’m…” I slowed the treadmill. “This sucks.”
I felt him beside me and heard his heavy sigh. His hands pressed against my belly as he applied pressure. My body coursed with renewed vigor as the electric current of his touch sent shivers across my body. My mind was flooding with him. I pushed the button on the treadmill, and before I knew it, the pace became a slow jog.
“Me – Me – Me – Me – Me.” His beautiful tenor joined me on the scales. “Better. Do you feel that?”
“You know I do.” I glanced over, and our eyes met. “This is helping. Don’t stop… please?”
“I… Fine.” He pressed his hand harder against my stomach as we continued the scales.
I didn’t want this moment to end. I craved his touch and knew that he craved mine. I placed my hand on top of his own, and he quickly jerked his hand away.
“That’s good. I think that’s enough for today,” he clipped as he turned and walked over to his desk.
I felt a small trickle of sweat slide down my spine.
“I have to get over to Professor Jamison’s studio next. See you next week.” Monica shut the piano and left abruptly.
Now was my chance, and I felt like my feet were too heavy to move them. I walked over and placed my hand on the back of the chair. “Look at me, Thomas.” I hated begging, and this was practically the whine of a child seeking attention. “This is the first time we’ve been alone since…”
“It has to be like this.” He shuffled papers, and a few fell onto the floor.
“Does it?”
“Yes.”
“Are you happy, Thomas? Because I’m miserable,” my voice broke with the emotions I had tried to keep in. It felt good to admit the truth.
“You know I’m not.” He went completely still and hung his head, trying to avoid my gaze.
“Look at me.” I made my voice as low as I could. “Please, Thomas? It’s killing me not to… Why are we choosing to be like this?”
“We don’t have a choice, Darren.” He sounded so tired.
“Don’t we?”
“I’m afraid not. It’s too… I don’t think that you and I are… we’re not right for each other, and you know it.” A quick glance and then down at his desk once again. It was something.
“Yet, here we are. And you have no idea if that’s even true. You haven’t allowed yourself to get to know me at all. Maybe we have… Youcallto me for a reason, and the same is true for you.”
His groan sent shivers up my spine. “Just the smell of you is making me…”
“Crazy? I know. One drink, Thomas? We can’t go on like this, can we? I can’t. Wait… Do I smell?”
He looked up at me, and a slow smile crept across his face. “No… it’s… I can’t explain it. It’s just you. You smell like honeysuckle fields and… I don’t even know how I remember that. But you smell like one of my favorite childhood memories.”
“I’m sweaty, so…” I raised my arm and took a whiff. “I do not smell like honeysuckle – more like a locker room.” I laughed. “So, a drink? The only reason you have to say no is being afraid of finding out you could be happy.”
