I would have to, also. There were no rules that bound us any longer. This was what it was, and if it did mean something larger and amazing, it would take time for that to happen. For now, there was only us and this moment. I would have to be ok with that.
Wouldn’t I?
Clothes repelled from my body as if they were from opposite poles. The shower was as fast as I could scrub and clean myself. I would be mortified if… No, that wasn’t happening. I hadn’t had sex with anyone else in my life besides Jax, and I knew how stupid and ridiculous that was. I had many chances in college, but they didn’t – couldn’t compare to what I had walked away from.
Fuck…
Was I a virgin again?
My body sparkled, not in a vampire, Twilight way – just clean and fresh.
I threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and made my way back down the stairs to the man I had never stopped thinking about. The only man for me.
Yeah…
I was hopeless.
“Finally.” Jax sat up. He was tense. His shoulders and biceps looked like he was about to pick up my couch. Whatever that phone call was, it had added a burden to him.
I walked over and sat down across from him, and he narrowed his eyes as he stared at me.
“Shit… This isn’t happening, is it?”
I smirked. “I hope so.”
“What is it?”
“When are you going back to Los Angeles?”
“Still deciding.”
“If we… When we do this. Is it a… I just don’t want to get my hopes up for this to be something more than it is.”
“Because I’m going back to LA?” He placed his hands in his lap and sat back on the couch. “You’re asking me if this is something more than a… fling?”
“Old boyfriends who…”
“We’re twenty-six! Why is everyone trying to put me out to pasture?”
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “Two people who see each other after a while and still feel the… sparks. But is it just for now, or is it possible that it might be… more.”
“From the first moment I saw you again, you are all I have been able to think about, Kenny. I don’t know. My heart says one thing, and my mind knows that you’re here, and I’m not right now. But there are other things going on that… It’s not a fling.”
“My heart is about to bust out of my chest.”
“That would be horrible. It’s a very nice chest.”
He leaned forward and slowly stood up.
“Ok… I just don’t want to get my hopes up for…”
“Me either. You’ve already broken my heart once, and I hope you won’t again.”
I stood up and reached across the table. His hand reached out and took mine.
“Can we please get naked now?” He bit his bottom lip.
I nodded, and together we walked, hand in hand, up the stairs to my bedroom.
