“Yeah?”
“You knew I was going to say yes.”
“I was hoping.”
I’ve never seen Kenny eat his burger that fast. The fire was burning between us, and I needed him – more than I ever had.
10
KENNY
“So, this is my place.” I shut the door behind us and tried to keep my voice steady. Even after hanging out with him for the last couple of days, I had never dreamed that this might happen. Jax was in my house. Jax wanted me as badly as I wanted him.
Want?
No.
It was much more than that.
It had always been a need. Ever since that first kiss so many years ago, I was only half a person without him by my side. I thought I had thrown us away forever, even if I thought I was doing it for the right reasons – I had never been myself again. I continually grieved what I let go of. Now he was here and looking sexier than he ever did.
But what did it mean? Could we be casual if that’s what this was? I wasn’t sure I could be. Honestly, I wasn’t sure he could be, either. But what if this wasn’t… Maybe this didn’t mean the same thing to him as I knew it would to me. Did Jax truly feel the same way – or was this him being affected by finding me back at home.
Sure, we healed some old wounds, at least for now, but was this a fling to him? He would be leaving and going back home to his life, and I would be staying here in mine.
His hands brushed lightly down my shoulders. His breath was so close I could feel it on my neck. I leaned back into him, and his arms slowly embraced me.
“You smell so fucking good.”
“I smell like teenage angst and a greasy burger.”
“I don’t mind. You’ve always smelled that way to me. Well, maybe not the angsty part. You didn’t get angsty until college.” His chuckle sent shivers across my skin.
“I think I’d prefer to shower really quick. Can you uh…”
“Let you go? I’m not sure.”
“Jax? If we’re going to… I don’t want to be like this.”
“Ah… You want to get pretty. The thing is… You’re always the prettiest boy in the room.”
“Not if you’re there too. Now let me go so I can stop worrying and actually enjoy myself.”
“Alright.” He let me go, and his fingers brushed across my sides.
“Do you want company?” The implication was clear. But I hadn’t had sex in five years, so I needed a moment to screw my head back on straight.
“Tempting. I just need a minute to… Will you just sit down on the couch and turn on the TV. I’ll only be a few minutes.”
“Fine. How did I know this would be the case? Because you have never changed.” He flopped down on my couch and grabbed the remote from the table. “Will you please hurry up? I’m dying over here.” He looked at me with those big puppy dog eyes, and I ran up the stairs to my bedroom.
Something was bothering him. Maybe it was the same thing that I was having, what did he call it – angst about. Having Jax back in my life… It only resolved his absence, at least in the now, but what did it actually mean for the future. If I let him all the way in, and trust me, I was about to in every way possible. It was my heart that I was the most worried about.
His heart, too, because I had always put Jax first.
If I went through with this – I needed to know the rules.
Jax would have to deal.
