“I know. I’m sorry that this is the hand you got played, Jax. But…”
“It is what it is. I know. Talk to you tomorrow.”
What the actual fuck?
Coaching wasn’t something I had ever thought about. I mean, staying on the team and getting my salary wasn’t the end of the world – but it was standing on the sidelines. To me, it felt the same as being benched, and I hated watching everyone else play the game I loved.
What if I was bad at it? I hadn’t ever coached a team before, and I knew this was just on the pitching staff, which would be awkward because I knew those guys. They were older than me, and some of them even resented being benched after I arrived. It would be a tough gig, that’s for sure.
But I would be back in Los Angeles full time and traveling just as much as I ever did.
I could be me, though. I might lose the endorsements if I lived an authentic life, but… I never liked seeing my face on TV or in magazines, anyway. I did like the money, though.
Twenty-four hours to decide on the rest of my life? That was… impossible, wasn’t it? It sure as hell wasn’t fair. I had to give them a decision - and to do that, I needed to figure out what was the most important to me.
Baseball had been my lover for so long, and now it was cheating on me. I was a cuckolded pitcher that had to watch my lover be caressed by other hands. Fuck…
I glanced back at Kenny sitting and waiting patiently at the table. Jesus – he was so fucking handsome that it hurt to look at him. Kenny, with his big green eyes and blonde hair that he kept cut so short it was almost military, had just come back into my life and…
Twenty-four hours?
What was the most important to me? Baseball and a career, even one that I wasn’t sure I wanted – it was still in the game I loved. I would be there, wouldn’t I? Helping the team win another pennant. But… What if I started actually living a life that didn’t revolve around traveling and being cooped up in a house that was way too big for one person? What if I chose me – for once?
I walked back into the restaurant, and as soon as he looked at me – I had no idea what it was I should do.
“You look like you just had some bad news.” Kenny’s sweet face looked solemn as he waited for an answer. I nodded and fell back into the booth.
“I’m that easy to read, huh?”
“Always. Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No. I don’t think so if you don’t mind. It’s just… baseball. I’d rather focus on being here with you and this fucking monstrosity of a burger. God, it smells so good.” I picked up the top bun, and the waft of my childhood rolled through my senses.
“Tastes good too. I couldn’t wait.” He chortled. “Sorry. You always scarf yours down faster than me anyway.”
“You still eat with manners? I thought you might grow out of that.” I wiggled my eyebrows lasciviously. I fucking wanted him right now.
“Asshole.”
“What are you doing after this? Do you have any plans?” I was treading into dangerous territory, and I knew it.
“Not really. Why?”
“I was thinking you could show me your apartment?” And your naked body. I really wanted to see that again.
“Really?”
“We’re adults. Besides, all I’ve wanted to do today was… Do we still spark?”
“I’m fucking electrified and terrified about it.” He frowned. I reached across and took his hand.
“Me too.”
“But…”
“But what?”
“Whatever? It’s not important. Let’s eat these, and we can…”
