I could barely breathe. I was excited and scared and back to being fifteen years old the first time we ever did this up in my old bedroom when the parents were out. We fumbled over ourselves as we both experienced what it was to give ourselves over to someone else – fully and without fear of what it meant.
I could use that youthful way of looking at the world right now. I was shaking.
“I’m nervous, isn’t that a fuck?” Jax whispered. “Your hand is… Is this too fast?”
“Does it matter?” I tried to keep my voice steady.
“Not right now. I…”
We walked into my bedroom. I hadn’t made the bed in months.
“Me too. I need this. Even if we… It counts now, right?”
His mouth lowered to mine, and our lips met and opened as they had thousands of times before. Our tongues gently probing against each other – our hands fumbling underneath our clothes.
Jax pushed my shorts down, and his hands palmed my ass cheeks as my cock, already swollen with my desire, pressed against him.
My hands gently pushed him back, and I kicked off my shorts and pulled my shirt over my head. He got the idea. His sweater came off quickly, and he threw it against the wall. I took in the sight of him as he fumbled with his belt. His body had hardened significantly with a layer of muscle that was absolutely breathtaking. Dark hair peppered his chest, and that beautiful treasure trail I had always loved waited for me to lick and make it wet with my tongue. But his muscles were… so thick and hard. Gone was the young man, and standing in front of me was another version of him. A man who never missed the gym. A man who made his career on being in shape. I could get lost in the landscape of his body – all of the hard ridges of his muscles were… Oh fuck.
His pants slid down, and he stepped on one leg to pull the other free. Bobbing up and down with the exertion was another part of him that I had never forgotten. Thick and veiny and just as large as it had always been. He had trimmed his pubes – that was new.
I fell to my knees and took his shaft in my hand as he finally kicked his pants away from us.
“I guess we’re done making out?”
“Shut up.” I stroked it and slapped it gently against my mouth. I moaned as my tongue tasted him. Manly and full of the pheromones that had always driven me wild.
His hands slid over my hair as he grasped the back of my head. I opened my mouth and took his thick helmet between my lips. Sliding him slowly, feeling the heat of him in my mouth – as I savored every inch. His deep moan made me want to impale myself, but I wanted this moment to last. My lips clenched tightly around his girth as I slid further and further down. Inch five… inch six… seven… eight. His pubes, trimmed and more orderly than I had ever felt, brushed against my nose as I stayed on the base of his cock for as long as I could.
His hands pushed against the back of my head, and I had to slowly lean into his grip to pull myself back up his thick shaft as my tongue circled the head before I swallowed it again. The taste of him – the feel of his ass in my hand – the ridges of his abs in my other – sent me to another place at another time. I savored every moment - every taste – every sensation as I took my time and let him know how much I had missed him with my actions.
A tear fell from my lashes and rolled down my face. Funny, I didn’t even know I was… The weight of what we were doing all of a sudden felt intense and life-changing. Jax was here with me, as naked as we could get. His cock was back in my mouth after a long absence, and I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want us to end.
How long I sat on my knees and fulfilled myself as his precum leaked into my mouth, I don’t know. But it was a heavenly hour or an amazing five minutes.
I glanced up at him, my eyes full of lust as I took in the sight of his body. His face was so sharp and angular, the firmness of a man who had lost the softness of youth made me lose my breath, and I gagged as he touched the back of my throat with his hardness.
“Fuck, baby…” He slowly started pumping himself into my mouth, and I let him take control and gave myself over to him, just as I always had in our past. A pattern that felt as comfortable and easy as an old blanket you loved to cuddle with. This was my happy place, and I didn’t ever want to lose it again.
His tight balls slapped against my chin as he used my mouth. I inhaled the scent of him and moaned around his shaft. I loved this, but I needed more. I needed him to fill me with every inch.
After a few more pumps, he slowly slid himself from my mouth.
“Can we?”
“Please, God.”
“Do you have condoms?”
“I have lube? No condoms.”
“The last person I have ever been with was you, Kenny.”
“You were my last too. Just… It’s ok, Jax. I trust you.”
“Well, it’s not… it’s not the first time we went bare, is it? I wouldn’t lie to you about this. I guess you can see how fucking sad we are. Never in the whole time, we were apart… no one. It’s always been us for each other, hasn’t it? Nothing changed when we were apart. Nothing, except I missed the fuck out of you.”
“Stop talking and more fucking, Jax.” I jumped up and opened my closet door, and pulled the old tube of lube down.
