“Um, okay… I don’t think I follow.”
“You can’t just throw your money around because you can. Or because you think it is the answer to everything. I won’t be bought. But I don’t mind being shown how much I might be loved and cherished.”
Her eyes slid to the side as she said that last part.
“And if someone did love you,” I said and damn, my heart was beating like crazy, “how would you want them to show you?”
“Money can’t do everything but it can help you. It’s the thought behind how you use the money, how you spend it. Like does this mystery person that loves me go crazy on our anniversary? Does he, say, buy me a room full of my favorite flowers just to see the look on my face when I see them? Or does he… buy out a rooftop bar for the night just to dance with me under the stars? For no reason other than he wants to take me out but wants to have me all to himself too.”
“Ah, I think I’m catching on,” I told her as I tilted her chin so I could have her eyes.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. I think I might have some ideas… you know, for this guy whoever he might be.”
“Maybe you should write them down for me, I could give him the list… when he comes into my life.”
I leaned down and kissed her cheek. Then my lips grazed her neck right under her ear.
“What if he’s already here?” I asked her in a whisper against her ear.
I held myself there because I was afraid to pull back and see her eyes. What if I’d read this whole thing all wrong. I think it would kill the last little bit of my heart I had left if she told me she didn’t feel the same. But I had to. I had to put it all out there right now. If there was ever a perfect time, it was this moment right here.
She went completely still in my arms and I was pretty sure she was holding her breath. I worried if she stayed that way much longer, then she’d pass out from lack of oxygen.
“I need you to really mean it. If you love me, you can’t do it lightly. Not ever. I couldn’t live with that from you.” Her chest rose and fell powerfully as she heaved out each sentence. Her voice was a broken whisper like she was trying her hardest not to cry.
I pulled back so I could see into her eyes. Those beautiful, blue eyes.
“Don’t say it to me until you are all in,” she said with a slight shake of her head.
My hands cupped her face. I wanted her to see each word as well as hear them.
“I love you, Jessica,” I told her without a single doubt in my mind that this was the time. I meant it with everything in me. Oh yeah, I was all in.
“Silas,” she breathed out my name with a breath so full of hope and relief. It was almost as if she’d been waiting her whole life for someone to say those words to her with meaning.
“You don’t have to say it back, you know…” I said jokingly. If I knew Jessica, this moment could only get so intense before it started to scare her. “It’s totally fine. My ego can handle it.”
She laughed, her head falling back as the beautiful sound filled the room.
“I love you, Silas Newman.”
“Thank God,” I breathed out and was actually pretty serious though it came out playful.
“Now put on that World’s Largest Apple Pie shirt and show me how much you love me.”
I laughed and shook my head at her.
But I snatched up the bag and did it anyway.
Standing there in this nice hotel room in a cheesy as fuck shirt and nothing else while she took every inch of my body in, well, I couldn’t deny that this was one of the best times in my life. I’d remember this moment forever, that was for sure. And when she kissed me, it only made the moment even sweeter.
I could easily lose myself in her.
And I planned to often.
“When was the last time you talked to your family?” she asked later that night.
