CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Mouse
“How are ya holding up, honey?” Gloria said hours later.
I’d been sitting there, frozen and afraid to even breathe.
Had I processed anything that had happened that night? No. Definitely not.
I was still numb and in shock. And unsure and scared on top of that.
My head shook because I didn’t have an answer for her.
“Would you like to hold her?” she asked softly, her hand resting lightly on my back and it brought me a tiny amount of comfort that I desperately needed.
There must have been a bright hope in my eyes, because without me even breathing a word, Gloria carefully lifted the tiny baby up and was placing her against my body.
I was shaking as my hands came up to cradle her little body against my chest.
There were tears in my eyes as I felt her body expand with a breath against my palm.
“Do we have a name, daddy?” Gloria asked and I was thankful that she wasn’t giving me shit about my emotions. She wasn’t used to seeing this from me. Sure I was fun and playful and I could be serious and maybe a bit broody lately, but she’d never seen the unsure me.
“Fuck,” I breathed out and heard Gloria chuckle like she’d expect nothing less from me.
Hey, I was pretty good about watching my mouth around Chry, so I didn’t think I was all that bad despite what people might think.
“It’s okay, Mouse. Just hold her close and don’t worry about anything else. A name will come when it’s time.” She gave me a reassuring pat on my shoulder. “I’ll come back and check on you in a little while.”
Then she was gone and I was alone with my… daughter.
Daughter.
Mykid.
Fuck!
And not the bad kind of fuck where you feel like you’re fucked. The kind of fuck like you don’t know what to do with all the emotions running through your body right now.
“Hi,” someone whispered softly next to me. My eyes cut up to look at the person but I wasn’t being rude, I was just afraid to move. “I’m Susette. I think we should try and see if she’ll eat.”
“Okay,” I whispered back and shifted her into the crook of my arm. It felt strange but natural all at the same time.
The nurse handed me a warm bottle and I brushed it against my little girl’s lips softly. It wasn’t long before her cute, little mouth opened and latched on immediately.
“That’s a good sign,” the nurse said and though I wasn’t looking at her, I could hear the smile in her voice. “She’s taking to it right away.”
“How long will she have to be in here?” I asked not taking my eyes off of my baby. I smiled as I watched her guzzle the formula down with ease.
“The pediatrician will be making the rounds soon. Dr. Baker is on tonight and she is awesome. She’ll be able to answer any questions that you have.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
The minutes ticked on. Susette didn’t hover over me but I could sense that she was close by in case I might need her.
“Sparrow,” I breathed out softly.
Her mouth stopped moving for a second. I held my breath. And as her hand did a little jerk like she was reaching out for my face, I knew I had an answer to a question I hadn’t really asked.
