“That would only require our going shirtless,” he pointed out, feeling the rampant beat of her heart against his chest, not to mention the soft ampleness of her breasts. The sheer pleasure of it left him almost mindless.
“Octavian, do not give me a hard time about this.”
He was already hard, how could she not notice?
But he gave her cheek a caress. “All right, no more teasing. Just the naked truth.”
“Octavian!”
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun.” He sighed and shook his head. “There is no one else for me, Syd. You are the only one I ever cared about. You are not interfering with my marital plans because I haven’t any, and certainly will never have any regarding Lady Clementine.”
“But she is beautiful.”
“So are you.”
“She is prettier.”
“Not to me, so stop trying to diminish yourself in my eyes. You are every bit as worthy as she is, if not more so. My protecting you is not a sacrifice. In fact, quite the opposite is true. It is the only thing my heart will allow me to do. I’m going to put my clothes back on if we need to discuss this further.”
“No, don’t. It isn’t necessary.”
“Then you are ready to take your turn kissing me?” And doing whatever else she had in mind to do with him in that bed.
“Yes. And are you certain you do not mind?”
He kissed her lightly on the cheek. “I do not mind, Syd.”
“Thank you. I’m so glad we got that straightened out. It pained me to think that by helping me, you were ruining your own chance at happiness.” She hugged him tightly once more and made no move to release him.
He debated whether to lift her in his arms and carry her to bed, but quickly realized Syd needed this moment to experience something she had never felt in her entire life.
This was not about a wanton night of sex.
Or a steamy kiss.
This was about her feeling safe and protected. Perhaps this was also about her feeling wanted, yet another thing Octavian did not think she had ever experienced. Her two inept parents must have shown their love to her ineptly as well. What had they said to Syd? Was she made to feel responsible for their financial burdens?
Did they blame her for everything wrong in their lives?
His heart ached for her. “Syd, let me take care of you.”
“Isn’t this what you are already doing?” she asked, looking up at him with big, hopeful eyes. “Who else would have been foolish enough to offer me marriage as a solution to my problems? Not that you are foolish. You are too good to be true.”
“And this scares you?”
She nodded. “More than anything else. Even more than marriage to the odious Sir Henry.”
“What if I also considered you to be too good to be true?”
She laughed. “That is not possible.”
“Why not? Syd, you are beautiful. Smart. Compassionate. Quick-witted. What makes you think you are not a dream woman for me?”
“How can I be? I am not even sure my own parents love me. I don’t think they know how. I convinced myself they did because a child needs this security in their home life. But there was so much heedless disregard going on around me. How can a four-year-old child understand responsibility better than her own parents?”
Yes, that was a good way to describe her parents.
They were irresponsible.
