She nodded. “Yes, just working up the courage.”
He wanted to take her in his arms, but thought it better not to touch her until she faced him and he knew she was ready to proceed with whatever she had in mind. “This is the thing about intimacy, Syd. It is very…intimate. No one exists in this moment but you and me. I will understand if you are not ready for this. I warned you that feelings are potent. But this thing we are about to do is meant to give you pleasure. On the chance you needed the reminder, you can trust me with your life, with your happiness, and with your heart.”
The time stretched before them.
Octavian was about to put an end to this folly when Syd finally turned to face him.
Her eyes glistened with tears that were threatening to spill. “Promise you will not hurt me.”
He did not know whether she meant physically because of the size of him, which was irrelevant because he was not going to claim her virginity, or whether she was talking about breaking her heart. “I will never hurt you, Syd. You have my solemn vow.”
He held out his arms to her.
She walked into them and tossed her own arms around his neck, holding onto him with unexpected desperation, as though she would drown if she ever let go of him. She was feeling something quite strongly, and it had little to with his arousal or the fact it was poking against her stomach. “Syd?”
“Just for tonight, could you pretend I am Lady Clementine?”
What?
Why was she mentioning that peahen? “Why her?”
“Because she is the one you really want.”
“Blessed saints, whatever gave you that ridiculous idea?” he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. “Let us get something clear before we take this seduction any further. Sharing a dance with a young lady does not mean I wish to marry her.”
Syd squeezed her eyes shut. “You danced several dances with her and everyone said you were going to propose to her.”
“Everyone? Who cares whateveryonethinks? I never said any such thing.”
“Do you love her, Octavian? Am I ruining your chance for happiness because you are marrying me? Oh, I know it is to be a pretend marriage that will be annulled within the year, but what if she will not wait for you to be free of me?”
He stifled a groan. “Blast it, Syd. There is nothing between me and Lady Clementine. I can assure you that if I loved her, I would never have run off with you.”
“Are you certain?”
“Yes. Is this what has been bothering you all this time? Why did you wait so long to mention it to me?”
“I was waiting for you to raise the matter.”
“So you had us both get naked to discuss it?” He emitted a laughing groan, for this was such a Syd thing to do. In one way, it made perfect sense. He could not run away from their conversation since he hadn’t a stitch of clothing on. “If I cared for Lady Clementine, then I would have found another solution to protect you. Is this all that has been troubling you?”
She nodded.
“Are you certain there is nothing more? Because I want no misunderstandings between us. Dear heaven, Syd. You thought I was interested in Lady Clementine? For this, you were about to destroy your own happiness and freedom? You were eating your guts for days.”
“I did not know how to bring up the subject.”
More likely, she was afraid to bring it up and have it confirmed out of his own mouth that he was in love with another woman, Octavian realized.
“So you waited until we were standing together naked to mention it? Were you equating baring our bodies to baring our souls? If I were a different sort of scoundrel, I would be tossing you onto the bed and pumping myself into you. Talking to you would be the last thing on my mind. You are not going to take this approach with anyone else, are you?”
“Stop mocking me. You know I would never do this with anyone but you. It made sense to me at the time.”
“That baring our arses would act as some kind of a truth serum?” He stifled the urge to laugh. Lord, this girl got the most infuriating ideas in her head.
And yet, she delighted him because this is who she was and there was no one else like her.
“Baring ourheartsis the truth serum,” she insisted, still hugging him just as he still held her in his arms.
