For this reason, Syd’s vow had to be given willingly, and it would not be if she was worried about the consequences of their night together, namely a child conceived from their wanton night of bliss.
He had assured Syd that she would be in charge and was now curious as to what she intended to do.
He wanted her to be bold, but he was also worried she would lose her heart to him as she gave him her body.
On the one hand, he wanted her to love him.
He knew that he would make her a good husband, for no one else understood her and would support her as well as he could. But understanding Syd was also a curse, for he knew she would love him completely once she fell in love with him. This also meant she would sacrifice everything to protect him.
If she got it into her headnotto marry him because she wanted him to be happy and did not think she could ever satisfy him, then she would run off before the ceremony.
He did not want this to happen.
“Syd, remember this is just trial and exploration. A night of fun.”
She nodded. “No hearts involved.”
“Right.” But he knew both their hearts were already too much involved. “What do you want me to do?”
She crossed to the door and secured the latch, then went to the window and drew the drapes closed so tightly that not a single ray of light got through.
A tallow candle burned on the small table where they had earlier taken their supper and it now served as the only illumination in the room. Syd was cast in a soft, amber glow so that she looked like a fairy princess with silken hair the color of burnished gold. “Take off your clothes, Octavian.”
He arched an eyebrow. “All of them?”
She cleared her throat and blushed. “Yes.”
He was not the bashful one, and would be her husband by tomorrow anyway. But he slowly removed each item of clothing, taking his time because he did not want any of tonight to be rushed.
When he had nothing left on but his trousers, he began to undo the top button of his falls. “Are you sure, Syd?”
She nodded, but blushed profusely.
He felt it was probably a mistake to take them off, but he could always put them back on if matters began to spin out of control. Of course, it would be agonizing for him to break the flow and don his trousers.
Well, he would not worry about it now.
He took off the last garment.
Her eyes grew big again when she saw his arousal.
“I can put them back on, Syd,” he said gently.
She shook her head. “No, I have seen naked male bodies before.”
He stifled the urge to laugh. “But they were dead. You were dissecting cadavers.”
“For a noble, scientific purpose,” she said defensively as she gave her back to him. “Will you please help me out of my clothes?”
“With pleasure.”
Although she tried to hide it from him, he felt her body shaking and knew she was not as calm as she tried to appear. Syd would never admit to being scared, so he was not going to confront her about it since she was safe with him and always would be.
She remained turned away from him once all her clothes were off, perhaps rethinking what she was doing. “Would you like to put your shift back on, Syd?”
“No.”
“Do you plan to turn around ever?”
