‘Oh believe it, I’m back, and the first thing I want is one of Ted’s cuddles. It’s been far too long.’ Felix let go of Eden and moved to crouch down by his nephew’s buggy. ‘Hello, beautiful boy.’
‘You can get him out, if you don’t mind carrying him back to the car. His two modes are human paving slab, or the next Usain Bolt.’
‘So we’ve got an Olympic champion in the making, have we?’ Felix unbuckled the straps on the buggy and lifted Teddie out. Eden held her breath, wondering if her son would remember his uncle this time, but she needn’t have worried, Teddie reached up and pressed the palm of his hand against Felix’s nose, pushing it in and out as though he was pressing a buzzer. It was just one more of his sensory-seeking habits, but it was also the ultimate sign of acceptance on Teddie’s part, and Eden couldn’t help smiling.
‘This is new.’ Felix laughed. ‘I’m just glad you still think I’m worthy of your attention, Teddie, and I promise not to be such a rubbish uncle from now on. I’m here for it all, helping out with nursery runs, looking after you when Mummy is at work. I’ve just got to make sure I get that job.’
‘You will.’ Eden took hold of the handles of the buggy as they headed in the direction of the car park, suddenly almost as certain he’d get the job as she was that she wanted him to. When he’d been away, she’d done her best to push down how much she missed him and how much she wished he was around. Now that there was a very real chance of him coming back, all of those feelings had come rushing to the surface and the emotion caught her off guard for a moment, forcing her to swallow against the threatened tears that seemed to come out of nowhere. Thankfully Felix didn’t seem to notice; the last thing he needed was extra pressure on him, and they were soon chatting as if no time had passed since he’d last been home.
By the time they’d reached the car park, they’d talked about just what their mother’s reaction to him coming home might be. Felix had made Eden promise not to tell her in advance, because Karen would have refused to wait at home and the airport reunion he’d been dreading would be brought to life. He’d told Eden that he’d booked an Airbnb so he could prepare for his interview and then work out a plan if he got offered a job. He wasn’t sure how long he was staying yet, but he’d rented the holiday let for the six weeks he’d said he was taking off work, so that he’d have enough time to get things sorted and find somewhere permanent to live if the interview was successful. Their parents’ end-of-terrace cottage had three bedrooms, so every room was already allocated with Eden and Teddie living back there, which meant it wouldn’t have been practical for him to stay for that length of time. Although as they approached the car park pay point, Felix made it clear he wouldn’t have been staying, even if there had been room.
‘I love Mum, but I don’t think I could ever live under the same roof as her again. I don’t know how you’re doing it.’ Felix grimaced.
‘I haven’t really had a lot of choice.’ Eden matched his expression. ‘Although it isn’t too bad most of the time. I just wish Mum didn’t try so hard. She keeps doing research and showing me all these crackpot theories that the internet tells her will “cure” Teddie’s autism. She still doesn’t seem to understand that it’s a difference in the way his brain works, not an illness.’ Eden swallowed against another emotion, but this time it was anger. She knew her mum meant well, but that didn’t stop the rage that bubbled up inside her whenever these so-called ‘cures’ were bandied around. It broke her heart that her mother focused all her energy on the belief that Teddie needed to be changed, rather than understood, and altering that mindset was a battle she knew her little boy would have to fight his whole life.
‘Oh I bet, she’s sent me a few of them too.’ Felix shook his head. ‘She even asked me to look into some ridiculous theory about heavy metals in food causing autism, as if you just need to stop feeding Teddie the aluminum foil you wrap his sandwiches in, and give him the sandwiches instead. Honestly Eddie, don’t you realise where you’re going wrong!’
Felix grinned and she nudged him gently with her elbow, because he was still holding Teddie. ‘Never mind that. I think we might have a bigger problem than Mum’s wild theories. It seems you, dear brother, have been Americanised after all. Round these parts it’s pronounced ally-min-yum foil not a-loo-min-um. So you can cut that out!’
‘Oh, well, if you want me to talk like a proper local.’ Felix had suddenly adopted a far more pronounced West Country accent. One that was sadly quite rare in large parts of Cornwall. ‘I shall do so dreckly; I don’t want anyone mistaking me for a grockle.’
‘That would never do.’ Eden poked her tongue out at him. She’d missed their silly exchanges so much. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her purse, but as he went to swipe it away from her, it fell to the floor.
‘Sorry, but don’t think for one minute I’m going to let you pay for the parking.’ Handing Teddie to her, Felix reached down and picked up the purse, and a white business card that had slid out as it fell. ‘Who exactly is Drew Redford and why are you consulting a forensic pathologist? Is it so you can plan the perfect crime, for when you finally crack and murder Mum?’
‘Now that’s an idea, but no. You remember. I told you about him, he’s the guy I met in the car park, who has ASD. I suggested we could meet for a coffee, because I just wanted to talk to someone who has grown up with autism, to get a bit more insight into how I might be able to help Teddie.’
‘And have you arranged to meet up?’ Her brother gave her a look which proved he knew her far too well.
‘No.’
‘And why is that?’
‘I don’t know, I’ve been busy and—’ She couldn’t finish the sentence without admitting that a big part of her didn’t want to contact Drew because she didn’t want him to turn out to be a disappointment. Or, worse still, that he might become one of those rare people Teddie was able to form a bond with, but who then disappeared out of his life as quickly as he’d arrived in it. Eden had guarded her own heart ever since Jesse had let her down as badly as he had, and she guarded Teddie’s heart even more ferociously. Letting someone new into their lives was always a risk because it made them vulnerable to getting hurt again. Even the idea of making a new friend felt far riskier than it should have done. Eden had carried that load largely by herself for his whole life and, despite how exhausting that was, at least it was within her control. As for having a personal life of her own again one day… that was an even greater risk and one she definitely wasn’t willing to take.
‘And you’re full of crap.’ Felix grinned again, having got the measure of her excuses straight away, but he wasn’t done yet. ‘The reason you haven’t called is because you’re worried you might like him and you never want to allow yourself to like anyone again after what happened with Jesse.’
‘Why are you so annoying?’ The flush on Eden’s cheeks would have given her away, even if she’d tried to deny it. So she may as well be honest with herself as well as with her brother. There’d been a flash of attraction towards Drew, but she pushed it out of her head as soon as the idea had occurred to her. She didn’t want to meet up with Drew because she had any interest in forming a romantic relationship, no matter how attracted to him she was. She was interested in Drew because he seemed to understand Teddie on a deeper level than most people. The last thing she wanted in her life were any more complications and she needed to remind Felix of exactly why that would be such a bad idea. ‘I don’t want to get involved with anyone else, especially not anyone else who needs “fixing”. I’ve been there, done that, and got the scars to prove it.’
‘What makes you think Drew needs fixing?’ Felix widened his eyes. ‘Please don’t tell me Mum’s brainwashing is getting to you, and you are starting to buy into the idea that ASD needs fixing?’
‘No, of course not.’ Eden’s flush deepened, despite her words, because her brother had got it spot on again and she was mortified that he was right. She was guilty of making the assumption that because Drew had autism that it somehow meant he’d have problems that would become her responsibility to fix, if they were to get into some kind of relationship. She hated herself for thinking that way, and for the arrogance of believing that a successful man in his thirties might somehow need her, a woman whose life was far from figured out. Never mind the fact that a relationship was the furthest thing from her mind, or the wild assumption that he’d have any interest in her even if she did want that. She was getting way too far ahead of herself and overthinking everything, just like she always did. It was yet another legacy of her life with Jesse and her inability to just trust her own instincts, because he’d done his best time and time again to convince her that they were wrong.
Eden sighed. ‘I want to meet him for Teddie’s sake; I’m not trying to find myself a boyfriend. That’s all I meant.’
‘I think the lady doth protest too much.’ Felix grinned as she stuck out her tongue. ‘Okay, so you don’t want another relationship. Fair enough. But there’s no harm in making a new friend is there? Especially one who understands ASD so well.’
‘No, there’s definitely no harm in that.’ Eden knew her brother was right, but it didn’t explain why she was suddenly far more aware of her heart beating in her chest, as if she’d had far too much caffeine.
‘Well if that’s the case, then arrange to meet him. It might just be coffee, but it could become a great friendship, or maybe something even more amazing. But you’ll never know unless you reach out to Drew. Don’t let Jesse take your present or your future from you, he’s already taken far too much of your past.’ Felix fixed her with a serious look for a moment, and she eventually nodded.
‘Okay, I’ll set it up.’ Slipping the card back into her purse, she told herself she would keep the promise. But there was no rush, and for now Eden’s biggest concern was how over the top their mother’s reaction was going to be to the news that Felix was home. Possibly for good.
* * *
Their father’s mouth literally fell open at the sight of his son walking into the house, carrying Teddie in his arms. With Eden just behind.
‘Oh my God, Felix, what the bloody hell…’ Dave Grainger clamped a hand over his mouth, and look towards his daughter. ‘Sorry love, I know you don’t want Teddie’s first word to be a sweary one, but this is a bit of a shock.’
