“Then you’re going to have dead zones in your recall too.”
“Does that mean Kierce has no memories of his past?”
“Due to the nature of death magic, there will likely be alotof holes. No matter how much or how little is left, your boyfriend isn’t gaining access without alotof magic and alotof pain.” She scratched her brow. “The older the memories, the more eroded they’re bound to be, and the less reliable too. Rot could have eaten away context, which will only leave him more confusedwith what he learns.” She exhaled. “Just make sure you ask his permission before you start digging around up there. There’s no telling what you’ll uncover.”
“I would never rob him of the chance to make the choice for himself.”
Even though I already knew he would want to know everything. He had been too curious for too long to let an opportunity like this one pass him by. I wished it was otherwise. I feared it might break him. But she was right. It was his call. Not mine.
“In the spirit of making choices, I’ll give you one.” She cracked open the case and extended it toward me, wearing a neutral expression to conceal her opinion. “Doyouwant to remember? All of it? Everything?”
Yes. No. Maybe? “How does it work?”
“Press it into your skin and leave it?—”
“Are you up to date on your tetanus shots?” Josie wrinkled her nose. “That can’t be hygienic.”
“They’re glamoured to appear as an everyday object.” Lucia chuckled at her expression. “They’re not actually thumbtacks.”
“Oh.” Josie cleared her throat. “Carry on then.”
“You’ll have seven days of mental clarity,” Lucia said, “before the god glass begins to reform.”
“Hold on.” Matty peered over at Lucia, his expression grim. “If this is your stash, and you’re still treating your condition, then that means there’s no cure.”
With so much new information mixing and mingling in my brain, I hadn’t put two and two together, but he was right. Which meant this was a temporary fix. A taste of total recall for me to determine whether my memories were worth fighting for or should be allowed to sink back into the abyss.
“The only way to remove it for good is to convince the god who placed it to rescind it, or to kill them.” She appeared tochoose her next words with care. “If your boyfriend’s brain is as scrambled as you say, he might not take the death of his god too well.”
“Kierce is old.” Josie pinned her bottom lip between her teeth. “Like dirt was still in diapers when he was born.”
“Wait.” I hushed Josie. “What do you mean he won’t take it well?”
“An ancient being recalling too much of his past too fast for his brain to process the influx of information without proper context—especially if his core memories are warped too badly for them to fit into a seamless timeline—could fry his brain like short-circuiting a computer.”
“That’s a big risk for answers.” Harrow rubbed a hand across his jaw. “Are there any other options?”
No one volunteered any other ideas, which didn’t help with the vise clamping my heart.
“Okay, then. Guess I’ll go first.” I lifted a tack, careful not to prick myself on the others. “Any suggestions for where to put it?”
“Anywhere it won’t be in your way.” She patted the back of her upper arm. “It will stick until it’s used up then fall off on its own.” She grimaced. “Try not to step on it when it does.”
Anyone who has ever stepped on a thumbtack knows how very much it sucks, and it made me hesitate. This might not be an actual thumbtack, but I didn’t want to lose track of it.
“Wimp.” Josie stole the choice from me. She plucked the tack off my palm and, taking her cue from Lucia, shoved it into the fat in the back of my left arm. “All done.” She craned around to see my face. “How do you feel?”
As soon as the metal pierced my flesh, the point as thin as a needle beneath the glamour, a jolt of bitter herbs hit my tongue.
Magic, sour and strange, poured down my throat. I choked on it. Spat to rid my mouth of the foulness.
Nothing helped me overcome it. Nothing lessened its pungency. Nothing offered me relief.
As quick as it came on, it swirled away into nothing, and I could breathe again.
Slowly, faint impressions trickled in, not clear enough to grasp but swirling dully in the background of my mind. The one constant was Kierce. He featured in each of them. Every single one a glimpse at where my life intersected his, from that first moment when we met at Bonaventure until now.
The glide down the timeline of our relationship only highlighted the oddities I hadn’t noticed even once.
