Rage at Ithas. Guilt for Lucia. Grief for myself.
Hard to deny that a teeny,tinypart of me had wished my childhood was one big mistake.
Like what if I had been kidnapped while my parents fueled up at a gas station? The thief hadn’t seen me in the backseat until it was too late, and they panicked. They were afraid of getting in bigger trouble for an accidental kidnapping and left me on the steps of a church in nothing but a blanket, where child services swept me away, and I was lost to my family forever.
Not that I had put much thought into the exact scenario.Obviously.But if I had… It might have gone something like that. And I never would have told the other Marys. Not in a million years.
“Idon’t like that face.” Matty pinched my thigh. “Whatever you’re thinking, you should stop it.”
“I’m lucky my brain is still braining after everything. If I did stop it, it might not start back.”
“Braining,” Carter said dryly. “If that’s not an indicator of high cognitive function, I don’t know what is.”
“Cut her some slack.” Harrow bumped into her shoulder. “She’s had a rough couple of days.”
“More like a rough couple of lives.” Josie tipped her head to one side. “You know what I mean.”
“On the topic of high cognitive function,” I drawled, “I’m still waiting for you to unveil your master plan.”
Squinting at me, Josie attempted to melt my brain with her mind powers.
Sadly, just like when we were kids, my brain remained solid as ever.
“All I’m saying is our original plan won’t work. We’re a man down, which blows our advantage.” An ache moved through my chest. “Kierce is in no shape to help us. We’ll have to go it alone.”
“We willkill Dis Pater first.”Anunit leaned her weight against me.“Then we will avenge my daughter and her mate.”
“Hey.” Lucia caught me by the wrist. “You won’t be alone.” Her palm slid over my fingers as I pulled away, gently, and she yelped and jerked her hand back. “What’s that you’re wearing?”
“Oh.” I had forgotten it was there. “Ankou tied it on me while I was with Ithas.”
“It’s a charm.” She sucked on a blistered fingertip. “A memory charm is my guess.”
“He didn’t say.” I frowned at it, noticing the knot had come loose and begun to fray. “Did he worry Ithas would wipe my mind like Dis Pater does with Kierce?”
Impossible to collect on his favor if I had no memory of it, or him.
“Let me guess.” Lucia shot ramrod straight. “If you think too hard about certain topics, you get a splitting headache. There’s something you can’t quite put your finger on, like you’re forgetting an important detail, but you can never bring it into focus.”
Shame and fear collided when I realized she was right, but I couldn’t answer the question. “I’m…not sure.”
“Ithas. That fucker.” Lucia reached into her pocket and produced what looked like a pack of silver thumbtacks. “You’ve got a mental block. God glass is what they call it. It’s kind of a magic shell that filters out certain thoughts and memories.”
“Ankou knew.” That kind of aid went beyond protecting his investment and veered toward consideration if not kindness. “He helped me.” I locked gazes with Anunit. “He wanted me to remember Berchem and Dinorah.”
Maybe he wanted me to help Kierce remember them too. I was close to my limit on how much longer I could deny what was right in front of me. But it hurt so much when I looked at it straight on.
“Then he did you a favor I’m sure has a price tag to match.” Lucia slapped the box across my palm. “I spent eight years trying to figure out what happened to me in that fertility clinic. I should have told you earlier, but I couldn’t see why he would put a block on you, so I omitted that part. I didn’t think it applied. But that thing on your finger?” She shook her head. “It won’t last much longer. Maybe another day. Probably less. Odds are good it allowed you to keep what Ithas told you, at least while it has magic to power the charm, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more in your noggin you can’t reach.”
“You recall all the details of your brush with Ithas,” I said, hope coating the back of my throat, “so you must have found a cure.”
“I located a shaman with experience removing blocks, and I happened to know the collector holding on to a sacred relic stolen from his people. We made a trade. The relic for these.”
“Dis Pater erases Kierce’s memories all the time. How is what was done to ours any different?”
“Our memories aren’t gone. They’re locked away. Ithas is a creator, and he has a delicate touch. He can manipulate flesh and bone better than any surgeon.” Her mouth pinched. “Dis Pater is a death god. His magic decays Kierce’s mind every time it’s used to force him to forget.”
“You’re assuming Ithas blocked me, but what if it was Dis Pater?”
