'I’m fine.’
Alice didn't look entirely convinced but didn't push. She rummaged in the basket and held up a bag. ‘Croissants and they’re still warm. I’ve just been to collect them. Take these.’ She winked. 'Looks like you could use a bit of cheering up.'
‘Aww, that’s so kind of you. Thank you.’
‘See you later, then. All ready for the Chowder Festival?’
Cally nodded. ‘Yes, can’t wait.’
On the way to Eloise’s, Cally found herself dawdling, lost in thought. She replayed the confrontation with Logan over and over in her mind, analysing every word. He’d not looked great when she’d shouted. Had she overreacted? She had. Should she have given him more of a chance to explain? Possibly. But then she remembered the look on his face when she’d shown him the marriage certificate – the guilt, the panic. She felt as if he had kept it from her deliberately, letting her fall in love with him while holding back a huge part of his past. She might be dramatic, but part of her absolutelyhatedhim for that.
By the time she reached Eloise’s house, she didn’t know what to think. She pushed her finger in the bell and waited for Eloise to answer. Eloise opened the door, took one look at Cally's face, frowned and pulled Cally into a one-armed hug. 'Oh, what in theworld? It obviously didn’t go well. Go in the sitting room. I’ll get you a tea.’
Cally slipped off her shoes and walked into the sitting room, sinking into the familiar, squashy sofa. She gratefully accepted the mug of tea and wrapped her hands around it.
Eloise sat in the armchair opposite. 'So, I take it you confronted Logan?'
Cally nodded. 'God, it was awful. What have I done? I really yelled at him!'
'Tell me everything. Start from the beginning.’
Cally recounted the whole confrontation. '...and then I just told him I needed space. I couldn't bear to hear anything else.’
Eloise gritted her teeth and made a swooshing sound. 'Blimey. That's a lot to process.'
'I know. I just don't know what to do now. It’s so weird because, at the end of the day, I love him. I really do.'
Eloise shook her head. 'I know you're hurt. And you have every right to be. What Logan did was pretty bad, no two ways about it. But...' she hesitated, clearly choosing her words carefully. She narrowed her eyes. 'Are you sure you're not using this as an excuse?'
Cally blinked, taken aback. 'What? No! An excuse? For what?'
'You've always had one foot out the door since you decided your background wasn’t good enough, haven't you? Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for some reason why it wouldn't work out between you two.'
'That's not fair,' Cally protested, but even as she said it, she felt a flicker of doubt. Hadn't she always felt, deep down, that she and Logan were too different, from two different worlds?
Eloise held up her hands. 'I'm not saying what Logan did was right. It wasn't. He should have told you about his marriage. But people make mistakes, Cal. They have pasts. The questionis, does this one mistake outweigh everything else? Everything good about your relationship?'
Cally slumped back into the sofa, feeling suddenly exhausted. 'I don't know,' she admitted. 'I just feel so betrayed. Like I can't trust anything he's ever said to me.'
'I get that. Think about it, Cal. Has Logan ever given you any other reason not to trust him? Has he ever lied to you about anything else?'
Cally thought about it. To be frank, Henry-Hicks had not put a foot wrong. He'd introduced her to his family, brought her into his world despite their different backgrounds, wined her and dined her, looked after her, treated her—done just about everything right every single time. 'No,' she said finally. 'He hasn't.'
'So maybe, and I'm just saying maybe, this was a one-off mess-up. A big one, granted, but still.'
Cally rubbed her temples. 'Even if it was, I don't know if I can get past it, El. I don't know if I want to. You know?'
Eloise was quiet for a moment. ‘Don’t bite my head off, but are you more upset about Logan's secret marriage or about the fact that he comes from a different world than you? And that, well...’
‘What?’
‘Sometimes I think you have a shield up because of everything that happened before. You like to keep people at arm's length.' Eloise pressed on. 'You've spent so long taking care of others, Cal. Your mum, your brother, your grandma. You've been strong for so long. But sometimes I think you're afraid to let anyone take care of you. To let anyone in. So, you get to dump Logan over this when really is it a dump-able reason? I know what my answer is…'
'That’s precisely it. I let Logan in and now look. I shouldn’t have done that.’
Eloise challenged. 'Thing is. You say you did, but have you been waiting for a reason to push him away all along?'
Cally opened her mouth to argue. Deep down, she knew Eloise was probably right. She had been waiting for a reason, hadn't she? Some proof that she and Logan would never truly work, that their worlds were too different, but maybe it was a way to actually protect herself.
