She groaned, burying her face in her hands. 'I'm such a mess. I shouldn’t be out in the real world.'
Eloise moved to sit beside her on the sofa and put an arm around her shoulders. 'You're not a mess and you've been through a lot.'
'That doesn’t help me about what I do now. What’s next?’
'First, you're going to finish your tea. Then you're going to have a proper cry if you need to. And then you need to think about what you really want. Not what youthinkyou should want, or what you're afraid of wanting or what anyone else wants or needs you to do. But what youtrulywant.'
Cally wiped the corners of her eyes. 'And what if I don't know what that is?'
‘There's no rush. The world won't end if you don't have all the answers right away.'
As if on cue, Cally's phone buzzed with another message from Logan. She glanced at it and her heart clenched at the sight of his name on the screen. 'He keeps trying to contact me.’
She turned her phone around and showed Eloise the string of missed calls and messages.
Eloise peered at Cally’s phone. 'Well, at least he's persistent, I’ll give him that. What does he say?'
Cally hesitated, then opened the most recent message.
Logan:I know I've messed up. I know I hurt you. Give me a chance to explain properly. To make things right. I love you.I’m sorry I stormed out. Call me when you're ready to talk. I'll wait as long as it takes.
Cally pursed her lips as she read the words. 'He wants to explain.’
Eloise nodded. ‘Yup.’
Cally bit her lip, conflicted. Part of her wanted to delete the messages, to cut Logan out of her life completely. The other part of her loved him. 'I don't know. I'm still so angry, but…’
'But you love him,' Eloise finished for her.
Cally nodded miserably. 'I do. God help me, I do.'
‘Maybe it's worth hearing him out.'
Cally turned her phone over in her hands. 'And if I'm not ready to talk to him yet?'
‘Just do it on your terms.'
Cally nodded. 'Thanks, El. I don't know what I'd do without you.'
Eloise rolled her eyes. 'Probably make a right mess of things. It's a good job I'm here to keep you on the straight and narrow.'
Cally chuckled. ‘What a nightmare.’
‘I’ll make another pot of tea.’
Cally pointed to the hallway. ‘There are some croissants in my bag.’
‘My kind of comfort food.’
As Eloise went out to the kitchen, Cally thought about what Eloise had said about using her background as a shield. Had she really been doing that? Keeping one foot out the door, always ready to run at the first sign of trouble? It was sobering. It was probably true. She had to get a grip or she was going to lose the best thing that had ever happened in her life.
28
Later that day, with a bit more musing on the situation, Cally became less than happy about what had happened with Logan. In fact, she was angrier than she’d been when she’d first found the marriage certificate. The more she’d dissected it, she just simply hadn’t liked the way he’d seemed to think that he could say sorry and move right on. For her, it threw everything up in the air. There was one teeny-weeny little problem, though; she was still head over heels for him. She wished she could just flick him off and be done with it. There was no chance of that happening anytime soon. Since the showdown, she’d not seen him, but she’d been thinking about him night and day.
She mulled over what he’d said about the marriage to Cassia. How they had got married on a whim and a few months later, it had been over. That had been good news as far as Cally was concerned, but it still hadn’t changed the fact that he’d lied by omission. Cally hated that. So much.
She walked into the kitchen at work, flicked on the kettle, got two mugs out for tea and waited for the kettle to boil. A few minutes later, with the Shipping Forecast playing from her left shoulder, Birdie, in her white pharmacist’s coat, came into the kitchen, sat down and gossiped about a woman who had justbeen in to pick up a prescription. Cally chatted and listened, made the tea, passed over a mug, and sat down.
