Blaqson nodded. “Yeah, and Kashmere? She fine, but she come with fireworks, and not the good kind.”
I sat back, rubbin’ my hand over my face. “Nigga, that’s why I said I don’t know. Y’all think it’s easy, but this shit complicated. Every one of them girls want somethin’ from me. Some want me, some want the life, some just want the crown. And then Ka’mari show up like she got unfinished business. I ain’t ask for this shit.”
We talked a little longer, more smack about the game, more drinks poured, more smoke cloudin’ the room, but the weight on me wasn’t goin’ nowhere.
After I lost two rounds back-to-back, I stood up and stretched. “I’m out, man. Bout to hit my room.”
“Yeah, go make sure Ka’mari ain’t in your bed,” Renza joked, laughin’ as I walked off.
“Fuck you, nigga,” I called back, but even I cracked a grin.
The hallways of the mansion was quiet compared to the game room. My footsteps echoed soft on the marble, and for a minute I just wanted silence. I was almost to my room when I saw Zaniyah leanin’ against the wall, waitin’. Her eyes lifted when she saw me. She was soft and sweet like always.
“Pressure,” she said gently.
I stopped in front of her. “Wus’ good?”
She tucked a curl behind her ear and smiled a little, even though her eyes gave her away. “I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. I had a great time here with you, I really did, but I think it’s time for me to go home.”
I stared at her, lettin’ her words sink in. “Why you say that?”
“Because I know in my heart, I don’t have a place in yours… not like the others. I see the way you look at Pluto, the way Kashmere gets under your skin, even the way your ex walking in here shook you. I don’t fit in that. And that’s okay. I’d rather be honest with myself than keep hoping for something that’s not going to happen.”
Her voice was calm. There was no bitterness or drama. Just truth. And the worst part was I couldn’t even argue. She was right.
I reached for her hand, lifted it up, and pressed my lips against the back of it, soft and slow. It wasn’t from lust but just admiration. She smiled, even though her feelings were hurt, those deep dimples flashin’ up at me like they always did when she laughed. My thumb brushed across one of them, lingerin’ for a second.
“You somethin’ special, Z,” I said.
She let out a small laugh that carried more pain than joy, then I pulled her against my chest. Her head rested right over my heart, her arms slid around my back, and she rubbed it like she was tryin’ to comfort me instead of the other way around. I closed my eyes, lettin’ her warmth sink in as memories ran through my head. Us in the club, bottles poppin’ and lights flashin’. Us walkin’ through the mall laughin’, her grabbin’ bags while I told her to get whatever she wanted. Us dancin’ on the balcony, no music playin’, just her hummin’ and swayin’ with me. Us vibin’ in ways I couldn’t even explain.
I kissed the top of her head and let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll make sure you get home safe. And don’t go pawnin’ all the shit I bought you either.”
She chuckled against my chest.
We stood there holdin’ each other for a long time, kissin’ here and there, nothin’ wild, just soft and slow, like a goodbye that neither one of us really wanted to say.
Finally, I pulled back and looked at her. “You deserve happiness, baby. Don’t forget that.”
Her eyes shimmered, but she kept her smile. “Thank you, Pressure. You do too, and I hope you find the right one.”
I nodded, slid my hand down her arm, and let her fingers slip from mine. Watchin’ her walk away felt like somethin’ was bein’ cut outta me, but deep down I knew she was right. She wasn’t gon’ be the last one, but she was one of the few I’d never forget.
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
Icouldn’t lay still for shit. My nerves were all over the place and my mind just kept spinning in circles. I had been crying so hard that my pillowcase was damp, and no matter how many times I wiped my face the tears kept sneaking back. I hated myself for even letting it get to me this much, but I couldn’t shake the image of Pressure’s ex-bitch walking bold as hell into the foyer like they was still together. That shit had knocked the wind out of me.
I came into this house knowing it was going to be a gamble, but I never pictured myself feeling like this. I was so in love with this damn man. I wasn’t even about to sit here and pretend like it was just lust or just some game because it wasn’t. Pressure had woven himself into my soul in a way that was permanent. Evenwhen I told myself I was done, that I needed to let it go before I lost my damn mind, it felt like trying to rip out my own teeth. This was the kind of pain you couldn’t just move past.
And the worst part was I had been the last one standing with Pluto. Pluto Monroe, the same girl who had been my best friend since we were little kids. She had been my sister before any of this, and now she was my competition… and potentially my enemy.
I still couldn’t believe that’s how it ended up. We didn’t even come into this mansion on no messy shit. We both had our own reasons, our own motives, but somehow we had fallen in love with the same man, and there was no going back from that. I would always love Pluto in a way, but our lives were never going to be the same again. I couldn’t help but wonder how shit would’ve turned out if we would’ve just been honest about our relationship, instead of downplaying and lying to Pressure about it. That part hurt worse than almost getting sent home.
She probably hated me now, thought I had done her dirty, but I didn’t see it like that. I didn’t do nothing wrong except follow my heart. As far as I was concerned, it was what it was. Pressure wasn’t just some nigga you could play about. He had that kind of energy that made you forget your plans and abandon your good sense. Once he had you, he had you. And I wasn’t about to apologize for being in love with him.
I rolled over on my side, staring at the glow of the lamp across the room. My head was pounding, my eyes swollen, and my chest felt heavy. I kept thinking about how Pressure hadn’t even looked my way. Not a glance, not a word, nothing. It was like I didn’t even exist, and then to make it worse, his ex had his full-blown attention. She was cute but she wasn’t all that, and that’s just me being real as hell.
I wanted to cuss him out, to tell him to stop playing with me if he wasn’t serious, but at the same time I wanted him to just walkthrough the door and hold me until I calmed down. That was the kind of confusion he put me in. One minute I wanted to be done, the next minute I was ready to fight tooth and nail for him.
