Gretchen shrugged before relaxing those tensed shoulders. “Checking out some reading. I still prefer physical books. I finally came up on the list to check outThe Woman in the Window.Have you read it? Everyone’s raving about it this year.”
“Can’t say I have.” Honestly, Thelma struggled to catch up with all the books that had “woman” in the title.I will never have time to catch up on the books I would have wanted to read over the decades.She’d have to catch the movie versions.
“Oh. Okay.”
Thelma had to get it together. Here was this gorgeous woman who would have given her a romantic conniption any other day of her life, and she was as insufferable as Scarlet O’Hara when she had been wronged.As Megan would say… don’t blow it.Thelma didn’t need the phrase explained to her. The image was preposterously clear in her head.As clear as a nuclear bomb going off.
“You know what’s nice to know?”
Gretchen halted from turning around and saying goodbye. “What?”
Thelma leaned back in her seat, one arm draped over the plastic chair, and a foot slipping out of its shoe. “That since 1945, no other nuclear weapon has been used for its intended purpose on this planet.”
“Uh…” The book Gretchen carried switched hands. “Yeah.”
“It used to be the most frightening thing in the world. Just in 1962, there was such tension between the United States andCuba.” Thelma still struggled to wrap her head around theidea of Cuba being any kind of significant threat to the rest of America. “People still talk about it. They discuss how little they slept at night. Can you imagine what it would have been like to live through that?”
“No. That was forever ago.”
“Robbie lived through it. So it must not have beenthatlong ago.”
Gretchen sucked in her cheeks and placed her book on Thelma’s table. “Guess so.”
The last thing I need is him seeing me with this book.Or talking to Gretchen. Heck, everything about that still weighed heavily on her mind. She had tried discussing it with Megan, but not only had she been scarce since her college term wrapped up, but it felt… inappropriate. There were some things a young lady did not need to know about her grandmother.At the end of the day, we’re not best friends.Not that Thelma could speak about this to Pauline or Jo, either…
Not yet.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Thelma blurted at the infuriatingly attractive woman who had all her lean carpenter muscles hanging out.Great skin, nice body, and I can’t stop thinking about sex.Thelma would break her No. 2 pencil in half at her current level of frustration.You’d think after two kids that would all slow down, but no.Thelma swore that her last pregnancy broke her. She had a completely “normal” sex drive, and then her hormones wentnuts.Like they knew how little time she had left! “I noticed that there’s a little garden area out there. I’d love to see it.”
“Uh, sure…”
Well, one point to Thelma Van der Graaf, who hadn’t scared this nice tomboy away!I was probably pretty close.She gathered her things into her bag and stood up. Better to takeit all with her than leave it with Robbie, who would only ask questions.
They went out the door farthest from the counter and instantly stepped into the hot sun. Thelma pulled a pair of sunglasses she purchased from the department store out of her purse and used them as a shield not only against the bright light of the sun, but from feelings that had been percolating inside of her for most of the week.
Gretchen was unperturbed. She was bare-faced against the sun, but considering how good her skin was, Thelma figured she must have taken good care of it despite her occupation.I’m still figuring out how it works today…The cosmetics of her time were long gone. Even her lipstick was about to run out.
“You want to know why Robbie’s losing his marbles?” Thelma blurted once they were near the community garden, one of the only accessible green spaces in the area. “He found out about me.”
Gretchen was reverently quiet as they meandered through the publicly accessible path in the garden. Large, wired fences separated outsiders from the greens within.Social trust is down these days.Back in Thelma’s time, nobody except someone completely losing it would have harmed acommunity garden,but nothing made sense anymore.
“Found out about you?” Gretchen finally pried. “You mean that you exist?”
“No, no… well, yes. I mean… it’s complicated.” Thelma adjusted her bag strap. Sweat glided down her back, her cotton dress suddenly oppressive against her lithe frame. “He discovered an uncomfortable truth about me. Something I kept hidden from the family for years. It just wasn’t done, you know? There weren’t any other alternatives for me. If I wanted to be provided for, I mean… I had to marry a man and bear children. Don’t get me wrong, Gretch, I love my children, it’s just…”
She shut her mouth before she said anything else so silly.
No. No, I should just get it out.Say it out loud. Make it true.
“He found my favorite book. I kept it hidden in my chest, but he found it.”
“All that over a book?”
“You don’t understand. It was…” She cleared her throat, searching for the confidence that was quickly descending to her bile-ridden stomach. “Lesbians in Outer Space.”A schlocky, pulpy novel written by a dear friend of mine. I mean, of the family. Because it’s from the ‘50s. During my grandmother’s time! Actually!” She stopped, pivoting her whole body toward Gretchen, who jumped. “It was Thelma’s! She was a big ol’ lover of women, but nobody except Sandy Westmore and a few girls at their college could ever know! And here I am! Same name, same face, and I also love women. More than my husband! The poor bastard…”
Gretchen crossed her arms. That was all Thelma saw, for she could hardly bear to witness any other reaction. She was too wrapped up in her own head, remembering how Bill flirted with her before he went to work that last morning she was there.Taking care of him. Giving him stability, like he gave me stability…Their children. Robbie, Debbie…
Poor Debbie.No memories of her mother except what fragments existed in a five-year-old’s head.
