“And between me and God, He knows that’s why I’m here!”
As Thelma wrangled her breath back into her lungs, the sweat growing tenfold and her bag strap refusing to stay on her shoulder, Gretchen asked, “What do you mean, ‘here?’”
2018.At least Thelma had some wherewithal left to know better than to say that.
“Van Nuys.”
“Right.” Gretchen looked just as confused as before. “Because this is where God dumps all the queers He knows can’t afford West Hollywood.”
Spit flew from Thelma’s lips as she simultaneously laughed and sobbed. Luckily, her bodily fluids completely missed Gretchen and instead landed on the pavement beside them.
“Lord…” She was a mess. “I want to go home, but I can’t. There’s no way back.”
She saw Robbie on the couch with a fever; Bill wandering the kitchen to make toasted cheese; Debbie watching the television as she played with a doll. They were all still waiting for her back on Hemlock Street. All Thelma had to do was turn the car around, remove her gloves, and return to her proper life.
One with her children. With Sandy for midweek afternoon delights.
Sandy…
Thelma’s attempts to hold back her tears of frustration and love lost did not quite work. While she didn’t shed the sobs that threatened to destroy her in public, her body still hiccupped, and her right hand smacked against her face to hide the scrunching nose and wibbling lips that she swore she would hide from Gretchen.
“Ah…” That same woman swung around, looking for anyone who might be watching them. When it was clear that no one was sweeping in to save them from themselves, she turned back to Thelma, saying, “I’m sorry.”
Thelma swung her hands down to her sides and sniffed so hard that she felt her snot roll around her brain. She refused to rub her nose, though. That was unladylike in the present company.
“I just don’t know what to do,” she muttered. “And now I’ve definitely embarrassed myself in front of you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you.”
“Nah. It’s cool.” Gretchen’s attempt to play off how awkward this was did not go unnoticed, but Thelma was in no space to pay what it was due. “I know what it’s like to feel how you do. My parents… well, they didn’t take too well to my being gay.”
“You mean a homo—”
“Yeah, yeah, a big homo. That one.”
Thelma swallowed her sadness, nodding. “My parents never knew. Nobody knew. I would have… I would havediedfor them to find out… just…” She hiccupped again. “Unfathomable.” Her brain went blank trying to imagine what it would have been like to be caught with someone like Sandy.Even if it was Bill… even if he was willing to forget it or at least talk about it…No. Impossible. Every particle in Thelma’s body refused to acknowledge it. “Feels good to finally say it out loud, I guess.”
“Wait, you mean I’m the first one you’ve willingly outed yourself to?”
Thelma shrugged. “Is that so strange?”
“No, just… wow. Kind of honored.” Gretchen unexpectedly opened her arms. “Do you want a hug?”
A little gasp once again knocked Thelma off balance. “A hug would be lovely.”
Gretchen took one step toward her, but Thelma did not bridge the gap between them. She was too tentative, too wrapped up in her own head to know how tohugsomeone who just saw her asher.Gretchen didn’t know anything about Thelma’s truth.She would never believe it.Gretchen was a grounded woman who believed in what was in front of her.
Me. I’m in front of her.
Did that mean Gretchen believed in Thelma? In what she was going through?
Thelma relaxed her arms and took a tiny step forward. She almost shrieked in surprise when Gretchen hugged her withsuch strength that Thelma was liable to fall to the pavement if she was immediately released.
The seconds froze into one long moment that Thelma couldn’t count. She slowly wrapped her arms around Gretchen’s middle, savoring the natural warmth and softness of someone else’s body.I can hear her heartbeat.Above the traffic. Above the pigeons. Above even the noise in her own head that hadn’t shut up in a good long while.
But it was Gretchen’s arms aroundherthat were most idyllic. Thelma closed her eyes and leaned her cheek against a sloping shoulder that curved into a firm bicep.There it is.The earthy scent of another’s body. Thelma didn’t care about sweat, nor was she put out by hot breath hitting the back of her neck. It had been so long since she experienced an embrace like this. Empathy and friendly, helpful love poured into her as she realized there was someone in the future who could get to know the messed-up Thelma andembraceher.
It was the purest hug of her life.
She could have stayed there for the rest of the day, immortalized as a statue and left to serve as a memorial to the fallen time travelers who had never felt such wholesome kindness again. Because when Thelma held Gretchen close, she forgot about the loud, fast cars, the devices attached to people’s hands, and the plasticky clothing that rubbed her skin raw out there in the heat. There were only the two of them, and whatever God still watched over her.
