“So the idea here,” said Helena, “is to make it seem like you’re just chatting with the audience from your home studio. I will throw a specific topic at you and then let you riff on it. We’ll film it and splice all this in with the episodes.”
“Will viewers think it’s weird that we’re wearing the same thing in every episode?” asked Grayson.
“No. That’s why I asked you to dress plainly. I mean, Nolan looks like he always does.”
She gestured at Nolan, who wore an oatmeal-colored T-shirt and dark jeans.
“And you look a little more subdued than usual, so I think it’ll all blend together. It’s not the sort of detail most viewers notice, anyway. We do stuff like this all the time.”
Grayson looked down at himself. He realized belatedly that he had on one of Nolan’s black T-shirts, which, incidentally, were not just the cheap kind one bought at a big-box store. Instead, it was made of some super soft luxury cotton fabric that had some stretch to it and sat nicely against Grayson’s skin. Grayson had paired it with dark tan khakis and a black-and-white scarf with some fringe on it. At some point during filming the show, Grayson had decided scarves were his thing, so he supposed he looked like himself too.
“Roll camera,” Helena said.
Eddie, the camera operator, did something, and the red light to show they were filming came on.
“Tell me about the Roberts house as if you haven’t done any work on it yet and explain why you are eager to help the Robertses have a fully functional home.”
So Nolan and Grayson talked to each other and the camera, mostly about how eager they were to modernize these houses and make these spaces functional, and they argued a little about their design aesthetics, and Grayson tried to crack jokes when Nolan became too serious.
“Yousaymodern industrial,” Grayson said when they talked about the design they’d come up with for the Martin house, “but your original color scheme idea read a little more ‘bruise’ to me. I mean, gray and purple look nice together, but if you don’t do it right, the house could end up looking like it was in a fight.”
Nolan cracked up at that, which was encouraging.
They finished for the day a couple of hours later. While Nolan called the nanny to let her know he’d be home soon, Grayson decided that tonight would be the night. He’d had two whole weeks to sort out his feelings, so all he had to do was lay everything out on the table for Nolan to take or leave. Grayson was tired of living in limbo, and he knew for certain that he was ready to dive into this whole home and family thing. He just hoped Nolan was in that place with him.
“I was thinking,” Nolan said a minute later, while Helena was out of earshot, “that I could call in an order somewhere and we can pick up dinner on the way home. I barely slept last night, and after shooting all day, I have no energy for cooking.”
“Okay. That’s fine with me.”
So they walked back to Nolan’s place and picked up dinner from a new Japanese-Mexican fusion place—it was mostly tacos with Japanese flavors—and arrived back at the loft in time to let Emily get to the dinner date she had that night on time. Rachel was asleep, so Nolan got right to work laying out take-out containers on the table.
Grayson took a deep breath. “Can I talk to you about something?”
“Of course,” said Nolan. “You want a drink? I bought a six-pack of that beer you like.”
“Sure, that would be great.”
So Grayson waited while Nolan grabbed two beers from the fridge and then settled into his chair.
“What did you want to talk about?” Nolan asked, sounding casual.
He had no idea what was coming. Grayson hoped this would go the way he wanted. “I’m moving out of my apartment.”
“Wow, really? That’s great. Tired of roommates, huh?”
“Well, that’s part of it, yeah. My roommate Kyle is kind of using my bedroom as a big closet when I’m not there. When I went home the other night, he’d moved a bunch of his winter clothing in. ‘Since you’re not using it,’ is what he said.”
“Ugh. I had a roommate in my twenties who—”
“Can I just get this out?” Grayson said. He knew he was prone to tangents when he spoke, but he wanted to try to keep that to a minimum here. At least until he blurted out what he had to say.
“Go ahead,” said Nolan.
“So, I decided to move out a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to go instead. And the thing is… I want to live here.”
Nolan immediately balked at that, jerking back in his chair and tilting his head. “Oh, Gray. I don’t know if I—”
“Let me explain myself, okay? Because here’s the thing. I know that you probably don’t want to get married again and I’m not asking for that, but I do know this: I love you and I want to be with you. You keep telling me that I’m too young to want to commit, but my life hasn’t exactly been normal by any stretch. And anyway, I should get to decide what I’m ready for. And I’m ready for a home and a family. Working on the show has made me realize that, like I never had before. So what I’m saying is that if you’ll have me, I want us. I want you, me, and Rachel, to be a family.”
