They shook hands and Nolan left. He walked outside into the hot LA sun and was glad he didn’t live here anymore. The air was stifling. New York wasn’t the cleanest city, but it didn’t have the heavy air LA did. Nor did it have the heavy memories of Nolan’s old life. He’d made the right choice in leaving.
He wasn’t at all sure he was doing the right thing here, but he wanted it. More than he’d ever dreamed.
Chapter Thirteen
GRAYSON WALKEDinto the studio and held up his phone. “Nolan, I have an audition video you have to see.”
They’d been looking for another couple to round out the season but hadn’t liked any of the audition tapes they’d seen lately. So Nolan was game. He put his pencil down. “Give me the highlights.”
“Another pair of newlyweds, but with a bit of a twist this time. I mean, their love story made me cry. They were best friends as kids and then were separated when one of their fathers got a job in another state, and then they found each other again, and it’s just….” Grayson let out a little squeal.
Nolan laughed. “Well, show me, then.”
Grayson pulled the video up on his phone, pressed Play, and passed the phone to Nolan.
The video began with a zoom in on a nice house in a wooded area. Then the camera panned to two men. The one on the left said, “I’m Justin, and this is my husband, Peter, and we’re in over our heads.”
He went on to explain that he and Peter had been kids together in the Jersey suburbs, but Peter had moved away when they were fourteen and they’d lost track of each other. Then one day, when they were both about twenty-five, they’d run into each other at a mall. They immediately rekindled their friendship, and then it turned out they were both gay and had been in love with each other since they were teenagers. They’d been together ever since. The previous year, they’d gotten married and bought this fixer-upper, but it turned out neither was as handy as they thought, and the house had a zillion issues. And now their life was on hold while they figured out how to deal with it.
“Aren’t they the cutest?” Grayson asked.
“It’s a gay couple.”
Grayson rolled his eyes. “Thanks, genius. I never would have noticed.”
Nolan sighed. He wasn’t sure why this had surprised him, but the Restoration Channel was pretty heterosexual. Still, Garrett Harwood was clearly working on changing that. Maybe this was an opportunity to help. He cleared his throat. “I mean, this house…. Where is it?”
“Upstate. In the Catskills. Did you see how beautiful the scenery is? All I want to do is put a huge window on the back of that house so they can look at the mountains all the time.”
“Well, they are certainly photogenic. And it might be fun to do a project in the woods instead of doing another ranch house in the suburbs.”
Grayson let out another little squeal. “Yes. I’ll tell Helena when she’s back in the office tomorrow.” He pocketed his phone and walked around the big drafting table where Nolan currently sat as he stared at blueprints.
The previous day they’d ambushed a single mom with a teenage daughter—two of the sweetest people Nolan had ever met. Their house was a big nonfunctional mess with busted flooring and faulty electrical in the kitchen, so it needed some expensive repairs, but Nolan was still determined to find a way to fix their place within the budget they had. He just had to figure out how. He was hoping that if he stared at the floor plans long enough, something would come to him.
Grayson sidled up to Nolan and kissed his cheek. “I missed you this weekend. I think those three days were the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other since we met.”
Nolan felt guilty for not telling Grayson about the potential adoption situation, but he also didn’t feel like it was worth the consequences to his relationship with Grayson if Angela ultimately said no. He’d been back in New York for two entire days and still hadn’t heard anything. And the longer he waited, the less hope he had.
“LA sucks,” Nolan said. He turned his head and kissed Grayson. “I’m glad to be back.”
“Mmm.” Grayson leaned in and kissed Nolan again,reallykissed him this time, snaking his tongue into Nolan’s mouth. “I missed you last night too.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t up for company. LA brought up a lot of memories. I just needed to be by myself for a bit.” Well, and he’d called his mother because he needed to talk to someone.
“You don’t like being emotional in front of people.”
Nolan balked and pushed the floor plans to the side. “That’s a weird thing to say.”
“It’s true, though. I never really noticed it before, but you have this persona that you put on for the TV cameras. The more you and I get to know each other, the more you let go of it when the cameras aren’t around. But when things get sticky emotionally, you tend to clam up and retreat.”
“Are you my shrink now?” Nolan pushed away from the table and crossed the room to the little cube fridge in the corner. He grabbed a Diet Coke just for something to do. He didn’t have to have this conversation.
“No, I’m just trying to get a read on you. And, like, fine. You need some alone time, I get it. We’ve been dating a few weeks. It’s probably better if wedon’tspend every minute together. I just happened to notice that you get wiggy when you start to feel things when other people are around.”
Nolan wasn’t aware that he had a different persona in front of the camera, although Grayson’s observation didn’t surprise him. He purposely tried to seem more optimistic when they were filming. Fighting through the fog was easier on some days than others, and sometimes it was all he could do to hold out until filming ended. So, yeah, he didn’t like crying in front of people. Who did? But maybe that extended more broadly to any deep emotion and Nolan just hadn’t realized it.
He shook his head and opened the soda can. “Well, since we didn’t talk much yesterday, what did you end up doing this weekend?”
