“I went dancing on Friday.” Grayson shot Nolan a cheeky grin. “A very handsome man tried to kiss me, but I put him off because it felt like I was cheating on you, which is nuts because we haven’t even had a conversation about being exclusive. But still… that happened.”
“Oh.” Was Grayson saying he wanted to be exclusive? Was Nolan ready for that? “I mean, okay. I appreciate that. But I don’t know if I’m ready for—”
“Say no more. You’re still fairly new to the land of the living. If you want to cut a swath across the sexy men of Manhattan, I won’t stop you.”
“It’s not that.” God, there really was a lot he hadn’t told Grayson. This hardly seemed like the right venue, though. “I’m not interested in being with anyone else. But saying I want to be exclusive implies a… certain level of commitment. And I’m just not ready for that. Are you okay with keeping things casual for now?”
“Sure. I don’t need a ring or anything. We’ve barely just started seeing each other.” Grayson rocked on his heels. “Would you be upset if I slept with somebody else?”
“Are you asking permission?”
“Posing a hypothetical.”
Nolan considered. He didn’t have the same jealous streak Grayson did. Would it bother him? No, because this relationship wasn’t serious. Was it? No, it wasn’t. “Do what you need to.”
Grayson leaned close. “So if I’d gone home with that guy I met at the club Friday, it wouldn’t bother you?”
“No. Not if it was a one-night thing. As long as you come back to me, do what you want.”
“Ah, there it is.”
“What?”
Grayson gave Nolan a peck on the nose. “A little bit of possessiveness.”
Nolan grunted. He hadn’t meant to sound possessive, but he couldn’t deny that he really liked Grayson. “Okay, fine. You’re great. I like you. I want to be with you. I’m just not in a position right now to make any long-term promises, okay?” Because even if Angela picked some other adoptive parents, there could still be another child down the line. And then he’d have to call things off with Grayson. Because there was no way he’d saddle a young guy who liked to go out with a family.
“Okay,” Grayson said. He smiled. “I gotcha.”
“Do you?”
Grayson patted Nolan’s chest. “I know you better than you think I do. I see what’s going on here. You don’t actually want me to sleep with other people, but you don’t feel like you can tell me not to. That’s fine. I don’t want to sleep with other people. But I’m not asking for some big commitment either. This is just… what we’re doing for now. Yeah?”
Nolan sighed, feeling a little relieved. “Yeah. Although if you did, I don’t know, fall into bed with some other guy, it’s not a deal-breaker.”
“Okay. Good to know.”
THEY DROVEout to Maria Dunlop’s house the next morning to meet up with Sandy, the contractor for this project. Maria was the single-mom client they’d seen on Monday. They had a plan to turn Maria’s unfinished basement into a space that could double as a gym for her gymnast daughter and convert her den into a suite for her aging father, who was coming to live with her, as well as some other little projects around the house. Unlike their other clients, most of the first floor of her house was fine. The kitchen had been redone about ten years ago, but it was functional. The budget didn’t allow for anything major in the living areas, although Grayson itched to update the design.
They were mostly silent on the drive. Grayson was still turning over the conversation they’d had the previous evening. They’d gone back to Nolan’s place after that, ordered in Thai food, and had sex well into the wee hours of the morning, so Grayson wasn’t worried about the status of their relationship as such. But he felt like Nolan was keeping something from him—something big. But he didn’t think he was in much of a position to make demands after Nolan said he wasn’t willing to make a big commitment.
So, fine. This was all good for now, but if Grayson continued to fall for Nolan, they’d have to have a serious talk about what was really going on. Part of Grayson wanted the whole thing—the white picket fence, the 2.5 children, the loving supportive family he’d never had—but it was probably too soon to admit that.
In the meantime, they were driving out to Long Island to see the Dunlop house.
“You okay?” Nolan said as he took the exit off the Northern State. “You’re uncharacteristically quiet.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
“Okay. About interior design?”
Grayson laughed. “Sure, if you like.”
They beat Sandy to the house. Nolan went inside to take another look at the den while Grayson waited outside for Sandy.
He was not going to freak out.
Something had happened when Nolan was in LA. Grayson was sure of it. Nolan had been distant the past few days. Sometimes he let his guard down—that was especially true in bed—but most of the time he had all his walls up. Grayson was very determined to tear those walls down. He was willing to invest the time—sort of like investing in an engineered beam to tear down the wall of a house—if it would open up Nolan.
