‘Yes, but it wasn’t just that.’ She paused. ‘I was also jealous of her and Ben. I thought she might take him away from me.’
‘That would never happen! You’re Ben’s mum.’
‘But they got on so well together. And who was it he ran to?’
‘Because we were at loggerheads with each other. He ran to the only other person he felt he could trust. It’s not a competition. You’ve got to get over this, Lucinda. Start to have a bit of faith in yourself. So it didn’t work out between us, but you’re a brilliant mum and you need to trust in that.’
‘I haven’t always been a great mum, though, have I? Not at the start anyway.’
Daniel sighed. He’d lost count of the number of times they’d been through this before. ‘That wasn’t your fault. You were ill. You’ve got to stop beating yourself up about it.’
‘It’s not that easy.’
‘Then do something about it. Get some therapy.’
‘See a shrink, you mean?’
‘See a counsellor. If you’d broken your leg you’d go and see a doctor, wouldn’t you?’
‘Yes, but that’s different.’
‘It’s not different at all. There’s nothing wrong in reaching out for professional help. Not if it heals you.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘Good.’ He knew he was being tough with her, but treating her with kid gloves hadn’t done any good before. She needed to face facts. They all did. ‘Look, I’m sorry if that seems harsh, but I think it will help. You’re a good person — you just need to allowyourself to be that person. And while we’re talking about Anna, I can’t let you take all the blame. It was my fault too.’
‘How do you figure that?’
‘Because I didn’t stick up for her enough.’
‘From what I can see she did a pretty good job at sticking up for herself.’
‘But she shouldn’t have had to. It wasn’t working with us being so far apart, so she offered to move up to Cheshire to help me with the photography school. She was actually prepared to put her own dreams on hold so that I could fulfil mine. But then, after the way she was treated, she felt she couldn’t give up her life, her family and her friends to be in a place where she was made to feel so unwelcome. And in hindsight I wouldn’t have asked her to. It would have been too much of a sacrifice.’
‘Oh, God. Daniel, I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to speak to her? Tell her I was wrong and I won’t behave like that again?’
‘Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think that will help. It’s probably too late now. And I’ll forever blame myself for that.’
Chapter Thirty-Two
The door opened and, suddenly, there standing in front of Anna, were Lucinda and Daniel. Ben looked from one to the other, a worried expression on his face. Then Lucinda started walking towards him, her arms open, and he jumped up and ran to her.
‘Oh, my darling.’ Lucinda circled her arms around him, kissing the top of his head. ‘You’ve given us all such a fright.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Ben’s voice was muffled in her clothes. ‘I never meant—’
‘Hush, hush,’ she said. ‘The important thing is that you’re safe. We can talk about the rest later.’
Feeling superfluous, Anna rose from the sofa. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’
Lucinda looked up from Ben. ‘Thank you for looking after him.’
For the first time Lucinda sounded genuine. What a pity it had taken until now — that it had taken this little boy being in danger to make this happen.
‘It was the least I could do.’
She dared not look at Daniel as she walked past him, but he caught her arm. ‘Anna? Can we talk?’
