‘Oh, Ben! You shouldn’t have done that.’
‘I know, and I know she’ll be angry. She’ll probably take my PlayStation off me for at least a month.’
‘And the rest!’ Anna laughed. ‘But honestly, that was not a good thing.’
‘I know and I’ll never do it again.’
‘Well, that’s something you need to talk to your mum and dad about. But I’m still curious — a young boy on a train alone is going to look odd. How did you even get on the train in the first place?’
‘I waited until there were people around and I tagged along with them, so it didn’t look like I was on my own.’
‘Mmm, very clever. But will you promise me one thing?’
‘What?’
‘In future, will you only use your cleverness for good things, not for bad?’
Ben grinned. ‘I promise.’
* * *
Daniel drove as fast as he could, his need to be with his son paramount. He couldn’t believe Ben had actually taken it on himself to travel to London. Alone. Without telling either of them. He was nine years old. Nine years. Anything could have happened to him! Daniel silently thanked the person who’d spotted him and delivered him safely to the transport police, rather than leaving him exposed to the dangers of the capital city. Daniel shuddered at the horror of the alternative. He had to stop thinking like this — Ben was safe and that was all that mattered. And he was with Anna. He almost gasped at that thought. Not only would he be seeing Ben soon, he would be seeing Anna too.
‘Are you okay?’ Lucinda asked. It was the first time she’d spoken since they’d got into the car.
‘I’m fine.’ He didn’t want to speak to her. She was just a passenger as far as he was concerned, and not a particularly welcome one. How would Anna feel when they arrived together? he wondered. Would she think that nothing had changed? He hoped he’d have a chance to speak to her alone, to explain to her how he felt, how he was desperate to make things work between them. He was even prepared to spend more time in London, maybe employ someone else to oversee the opening and running of the photography school. It would mean seeing less of Ben, of course, but somehow he’d just have to make it work. One thingthe last few days had taught him was that he definitely didn’t want to live without her.
‘I’m sorry,’ Lucinda said into the silence.
‘What are you sorry for exactly?’ He wished he’d insisted she find her own way to London, or better yet stayed at home until he returned with Ben. But they’d only been focused on Ben when they’d left and he’d understood she would be as desperate to see their son as he was.
‘For everything really.’ Her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t catch her words.
‘What do you mean?’ He hoped this wasn’t another one of her games. Pretending to be contrite so that she could get back into his good books.
‘I’m sorry for being so nasty to Anna. I’m sorry for causing you two to break up. I didn’t realise how much she meant to you, or to Ben.’
She sounded genuine enough, as though she meant her words, but he didn’t know how to answer her. What could he say? That’s okay? Because it wasn’t okay. Her saying she was sorry wouldn’t bring Anna back. The damage had been done.
‘I was jealous,’ she said.
‘Of me?’
‘Of your relationship.’
‘You’ve got Axel. Why couldn’t you let me move on too?’
She sighed. ‘It’s different. Axel and I, well . . . it’s not really working. He’s like you, married to his job. He’s either on tour or recording, he’s not cut out for a ready-made family. Not yet anyway.’
‘Is that why you said you wanted us to try again?’
‘Yes. I was scared. I’m no good on my own.’
‘It would never work between us, you know?’
‘I do know. I suppose I always knew it. I was just clutching at straws really. I was jealous of what you and Anna had together. You seem so perfect, so much in love, and I wanted that too.’
‘And if you couldn’t have it, you decided that I couldn’t have it either.’ He clenched the steering wheel, trying to contain his anger towards her. Why couldn’t she have been happy for him?
