I love this.The thought made her smile; an unexpected gust of happiness swept through her. She didn’t just mean the show, though it was incredible to be finally performing. It was the freedom of her budding confidence. She wondered if her parents would come and see her. She didn’t want to care.
Róisín suddenly loomed into her field of vision, shouting to be heard over the thunderous clacking of Irish dancing. ‘Roe! You are sitting there grinning gormlessly when you could andshouldbe polishing your second-act closing number. It’s a pivotal moment: we need it tighter and punchier for opening night.’
‘On it!’ Roe jumped up, pulling out her phone to bring up the lyrics. She turned away, spotting a text from Eddie. She opened it reluctantly, trying to ignore how justseeinghis name could deflate her so rapidly at the moment.
EDDIE: Do you think choir will be running late again? Just wondering if I should go ahead with dinner?
A new text dropped in as Roe read.
EDDIE: Also please can you take it easy. I’m afraid you’ll shake those sperms from last night out before they even get a chance to take! (This is 80 per cent a joke, FYI, and 20 per cent I love you and don’t want you doing too much.)
She typed out a quick message telling Eddie to go ahead and eat because rehearsals would be a few more hours. It was a lie. She’d be finished up here in less than an hour, and then it was off to Ailbhe’s for her inaugural drug experience courtesy of Eileen’s mushroom snag.
After forty minutes studying the script in Róisín’s eyeline, Roe sensed she could reasonably slip away. She ordered a taxi, pulled on her jacket and was shouldering her backpack just as Seb came over.Oh shite, he wants yet another talking head. She was rapidly becoming something of a focal point for theGlee Menarrative – her, as Gavin called it, odds-defying rise. The last time he’d referred to this, she was withering: ‘It’s not against the odds that a fat woman could be good in musical theatre – we’re just never cast because—’
‘OK, OK,’ he’d cut across her. ‘Let’s not bog the viewer down with too much activism – remember,Glee Mewill be airing in the 8 p.m. Sunday-night slot right beforeOperation Tiny Nation.’
‘Hey, Roe.’ Seb fell into step with her. ‘You are looking amazing up there. How does it feel?’
‘Itfeelsamazing, but also weirdly sad. Like, I am so happy my friend Lindy coached me into doing it. I would never have followed through if she hadn’t pushed me, but I keep thinking about how I could’ve done this years ago. I just never thought I was good enough.’
‘You’re good enough now, Roe. Seriously. I’ve been doing TV for twenty years. I’ve spent time around some really talented people and you are on a par.’
‘Thank you.’ Roe felt a little lump rising. Sometimes, she found praise very hard. Either the bitch voice in her head would immediately snuff out any compliment withThey’re only saying that to be nice, or it would press the bruise the absence of praise from her parents had left. Eddie, of course, was loving – Roe knew he thought she was gorgeous and smart – but never hearing the words from her mother had left a mark.
‘I actually wanted to tell you something,’ Seb continued. ‘A friend of mine is casting a show in the West End. Auditions start in about six weeks. It’s a big show, the new run ofNewsies. Most of the people trying out will be veterans. But I immediately thought of you when he told me about it and, well, I hope you don’t mind but I sent him some of the footage I have of you.’
‘Are you serious?’ Roe reeled. This was simultaneously the most incredible, terrifying, thrilling and inconvenient thing she’d ever heard.
‘Yeah, of course.’ Seb laughed.
‘You didn’t have to do this,’ she told him. ‘If you were just, you know, trying to be nice or whatever.’
He gave her a weird look. ‘I know that. I’m just tryna help out my pal. He needs a cast!’ He laughed, looking her over. ‘Crazily talented woman lacking in self-confidence? Now Iknowyou’re a star! Anyway I am super relieved you don’t mind that I sent it because …’ Seb paused for effect, ‘he wasbowledover by you and wants to invite you to the auditions.’
‘What!’ Roe gasped, the shock and thrill causing her breath to catch. ‘Oh my God, really? Really?’
‘Really! You can’t be that surprised. Youareexcellent. You have a three-octave range.’
‘I know but I’m not a professional. People train for years—’
‘Lin-Manuel Miranda got a late start, he didn’t débutIn the Heightson Broadway until he was nearly thirty.’
‘Yeah but he wrote the first draft at nineteen, Seb!’
‘Look, you may not be “trained” but you’re clearly “schooled”. Anyway, I’m giving him your details – I got them off Róisín.’
‘O-K …’ Roe’s elation was already spiralling downwards. The roll of the conception dice the previous night was suddenly a way bigger problem than it had seemed when onlyVoices of Glorywas at stake.
‘Listen,’ Seb’s voice had dropped and now had a vaguely urgent edge, ‘I know this is all very “will you score my friend” but will you give me Ailbhe’s mobile number? All I have for her is the Beautify contact and I think Holly has that phone most of the time. I’ve been trying Ailbh on the DMs on Insta and she never gets back. Anyway, I was hoping to catch her before we wrapped for the weekend but she’s got away from me.’
‘Eh.’ Roe was perplexed at the ‘will you score my friend’ part of his request. It seemed really unprofessional to be joking about scoring a colleague. Unsure of quite what to do, she pulled out her phone and searched her contacts.
‘Thanks.’ He grinned. ‘This is probably totally inappropriate but … does she ever mention me? We got together a year ago or just over. First weekend of July – I remember cos I’d come over to produce this Irish–American Fourth of July show. Anyway, I was gonna invite her to this charity thing I’ve been invited to, try and maybe get something going again.’ He gave a nervous smile.
‘Eh …’ Roe froze.What the fuck?
‘What?’ Seb looked concerned. ‘Is she seeing someone?’ Shite, thatWhat the Fuckwas clearly visible all over her face.
