‘I’m not even going to lecture you about the folly of one password for everything. What is it?’
‘Em it’s …’ Rachel shifted, avoiding Lindy’s eyes. ‘I’ll just spell it for you. S-i-g-r-i-d-C-u-n-t, caps on the S and the C.’
‘Right so.’ Lindy summoned an impassive smile. ‘We are a nojudgement organisation, Rachel. I’ll get straight on this. In the meantime, I’ve done some research around compulsive behaviours and created a roadmap for how we’re going to deal with the root causes of this. Also as I am not qualified just yet, I’ve reached out to another coach who specialises in confidence building, and she is going to come on board and act as a consultant. Do I have your permission to share some information with her regarding your snag?’
‘Yeah, of course.’
‘Brilliant, I’ve pencilled our meeting with her for early August, so that leaves me a couple of weeks to bring together a comprehensive overview of your actions online. I think seeing it all laid out will show you the extent of this problem and help you to leave it in the past.’
19
HER BLOODY OVULATION WINDOW WAS BACK. IT seemed to come round faster every month. Also Eddie appeared to be hitting new heights of excitement. It’d been a week since they had minded Tilly after Ailbhe’sBanged Up Abroadmoment in the airport, and Eddie had not stopped going on about the baby since. As she tidied the kitchen after dinner, she could sense him in the corner of her eye. Now, he was advancing on her with a broody boner.
‘I am sorry, but you are so hot, Roe. I think we’re going to need to action this right here.’ He pressed his hard dick against her hip, running his hands over her ass.
She turned and put her arms around his neck and he dropped his head to her cleavage, moaning a little.
‘You’d better not be just after my eggs.’ She pretended to sulk, and he immediately covered her lips with his own, his hand slipping up her floral-patterned baby-doll dress. She leaned back against the counter as he dropped to his knees and tugged at her panties.
‘Hang on,’ she whispered. ‘Let’s go upstairs. I want to get’ –my diaphragm!she screamed mentally ‘– more comfortable.’
In the bedroom, Eddie unbuttoned her dress tantalisingly slowly, but Roe was too agitated to enjoy it. She needed to get into the bathroom. ‘Wait, I just want to grab a glass of water—’
‘I’ll get it for you.’ Eddie grinned gamely. He nipped through the bathroom door before she could protest and was hunting through the under-sink cupboard for a glass when he exclaimed, ‘Well look who’s still hanging around!’ He emerged grinning and holding her diaphragm case. ‘No need for this cock-blocker these days!’ He chucked it in the bin behind him and turned back to the press, coming up with a glass this time and filling it from the tap.
Roe’s thoughts galloped as she accepted the glass and took a drink on autopilot.Crap, crap, crap. She set the glass down. Should she pretend to be sick? Dizzy?
Eddie was already slipping his hand between her legs and nipping at her ear. She stared over his shoulder at the bin just visible.
Risk it? What were the odds? It was only a 30 per cent chance. Eddie had reported every scrap of intel the minute they’d started ‘trying’.
He pushed her gently back onto the bed, running his hands over her breasts.
Fuck it. It won’t happen. And if it does, so be it. It’s just a community show in Craghanmor.
Ailbhe consulted the list: Roe was next. She started prepping her kit when she clocked Seb Knox making his way through the mêlée of crew and performers. Now that she was stuck in Dublin for the foreseeable, she had once again taken on theGlee Mework, insisting she needed the distraction and Holly needed to be in the salon as they were well into July and wedding season was hopping. What Ailbhe really needed was to keep Holly and Seb apart. It did seem unlikely that Seb would suddenly come out with anything, but she couldn’t risk it.
And despite the discomfort of the situation, she really did need the distraction. In the ten days since visa-gate, she hadn’t had a single drink. And she found she was thinking about it constantly – her mind spinning around the issue, raking back and forth over the last year. Without the booze to stifle the anxiety, she found it was hitting an all-time high. Tom was keeping her at arm’s length and his absence was cementing – too late? – just how much she cared about him. She was afraid to say ‘love’, especially now that she might lose him. She wanted to tell him about her ten days of not drinking, but it seemed way too minor. It was hardly such a huge achievement by any normal person’s standards. Though Maia, who she was back in touch with now that she was serious about getting better, insisted she was doing amazing.
‘What do you make of the show so far then?’ Seb stood before her, grinning. ‘Too ridiculous or just right?’
‘Well,’ Ailbhe twisted her long hair over her left shoulder, ‘TBH reality TV jumped the shark alongtime ago. I’m a fan of the90 Day Fiancéoeuvre, so this feels kind of tame in comparison. Not boring-tame!’ she swiftly corrected herself. ‘It’s got kind of cosyBake Offvibes.’
Seb nodded, laughing. ‘I know what you’re saying. This isn’t my usual gig. Gavin’s much more experienced in reality stuff. He has an Excel spreadsheet of all the contestants and who’s cried yet and who he’s trying to get to have an outburst, that kind of thing.’
‘Well, my money is on Róisín.’ Ailbhe laughed and turned back to her kit. She didn’t want to prolong their chat.
‘Seb!’ Gavin was gesturing urgently from behind a monitor.
‘Coming,’ Seb called, his eyes remaining fixed on Ailbhe. ‘You know, it’s funny you showed up here. A year later … Right after I gave up texting you. I actually thought we might have had some time to ourselves, but of course you’d actually have to reply to my messages. I know you – you’re playing hard to get, aren’t you.’ He held her eyes for a beat longer and then turned to make his way over to the crew.
Oh God, he thinks I’m doing this for a fling. Should I quit? Try and get Holly to drop the job? But she’d want to know why. She might suspect that something’s happened. The opening night ofVoices of Glorywas 17 August, a little over four weeks away. She could hold the line until then, right? She might even get another shot at America before then …
‘Roe, I love this look on you! It’s very … not you.’ Roe laughed as Danny grabbed her hips and turned her from side to side so her sequined cropped jumper glittered under the brightly coloured stage lights illuminating the almost perfect replica of the 1994 Eurovision stage that had been erected since Tuesday’s rehearsal.
That had been the final year of Ireland’s sweep of the contest. Now, it was most memorable for the iconic original performance ofRiverdanceduring the interval. The members of the Life & Soullers who’d been cast as chorus were on stage flinging legs and wigs of tumbling, tight curls everywhere. They’d been perfecting an incredible version of arguably the proudest (and most lucrative) fourteen minutes in the history of Ireland. The tapping was deafening; beside her Danny adjusted his leather pants as he waited for his cue. True to the era, they were an aggressively unflattering bootcut. He was playing Michael Flatley, and Ailbhe had done an amazing job of creating an odd little mullet of tight curls with his formerly dark now bleached-blond hair. Danny raised a leg ramrod straight out in front of him, extended his arms out to the side crucifix-style and mince-danced to the centre of the stage.
Roe made her way down to the auditorium and sat a few seats away from Róisín.
