‘Yes.’
‘Then it’s so worth doing. Things don’t have to be Broadway to make them worthwhile. Just think of this as off-Broadway.’
‘Way, way off-Broadway.’ Roe grinned.
‘Yes.’ Lindy laughed. ‘And thank fuck, if this was Broadway you’d be doing – what? – eight shows a week!’
‘Well, all going well thiswillbe eight shows a week.’
‘Well, see, same diff – it practicallyisBroadway.’ Lindy was smiling but Roe could see she looked drained. Roe couldn’t imagine how she was functioning with all that was going on with Adam.
‘How are you doing, Lindy? Have you still not said anything to him?’
Lindy frowned and checked her phone. ‘It’s nearly time, darl. Thank God because that is literally the last thing I could cope with talking about right now.’ She smiled miserably and Roe felt a guilty scrap of relief that at least things with Eddie were nowhere near as complicated.
Inside the auditorium, auditions for lead roles were about to begin and the atmosphere crackled with anticipation and a certain delicious frisson of bitchiness. Dozens of her fellow Life and Soullers were draped around the seats like jaded emperors sitting in judgement at a gladiatorial event.
Mags and Danny waved down from the back and Lindy made her way up to join them while Roe settled in the front row, behind the judges, along with the others waiting to be called.
Áine of the two cancers was up first. The format was veryX Factor, with Róisín playing the role of a gently encouraging Louis Walsh, flanked by veteran musical director Michael Holland on one side giving his best Simon Cowell impression, complete with deep tan and blazing white teeth. TheGlee Meproducer, Seb Knox, was on the other side.
‘I’ve chosen the Eurovision classic ‘Why Me?’,’ Áine called from the stage, ‘because when Jimmy told me he’d remortgaged the house in 2006 to rebuild the pigeon shed I said …’ At this Áine drew in a deep breath and positively shriek-sang, ‘WHY MEEEE?’
Seb Knox visibly jolted and Róisín muttered, ‘Jesus Christ.’
Áine caterwauled her way through the rest of the song, occasionally singing directly into the camera that was capturing her performance. By the time she was wrapping up, Michael Holland was holding his head in his hands and Seb Knox’s smile was stretched so tight his face looked close to snapping.
‘Thanks for that, Áine,’ Róisín said in a bored voice.
Denise was making her way on stage and Roe’s stomach clenched. Denise was good. She looked relaxed as she took her mark at the centre of the stage. She also looked the part of a leading lady. Her hair was of the platinum, swishy variety and her limbs were long, lithe and toned. She looked like the type of person to open a sharing bag of M&Ms and partake of a handful without devouring the entire bag. A psychopath essentially.
‘I’m Denise Halloran and I’m doing ‘Shallow’ by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.’
‘Of course you are.’ Michael rolled his eyes. ‘That’s great, Denise.’
The performance was flawless but perfunctory, and Roe sensed a slight disappointment from the Life and Soullers who weren’t auditioning but had come to ‘support’ aka judge. Perfection was boring – they weren’t spending their Saturday in Craghanmor Community Centre to enjoy perfectly serviceable cover versions. They had a shared blood lust, Roe knew; they wanted a mighty fall and Roe couldn’t help but fear that she was about to provide them with just that.
‘Roe? Roe O’Neill?’ Róisín called and Roe made her way forward and up the steps at the side of the stage. Her head felt oddly empty after the anxious scattershot thoughts of the previous hours. She tugged at her waistband nervously and wished she wasn’t on stage right now so she could fix her knickers, which felt skewed after sitting down.Oh God, please don’t let me have VPL up here.She hoped the judges couldn’t see her knees shaking.
‘This is a nice surprise, Roe!’ Róisín turned to Michael Holland. ‘Roe has never, ever tried out for a solo with the choir. Was it the lure of the TV cameras?’ she called up to Roe.
‘Eh no, not at all.’ Roe squirmed uneasily; the camera on the stage to the left of her seemed to be focusing on her with increased interest. ‘To be honest, I’m not that into the whole reality-show thing.’
‘Oh? Why’s that?’ Seb Knox spoke for the first time since they’d started. Shite. Roe definitely didn’t want to attract his attention for good or for bad.
‘Well, I’m notnotinto it, if you know what I mean. I’m just not mad keen to be on telly, but it’s obviously part and parcel of trying out so I’ll happily do what I have to.’
‘So good of you,’ Michael Holland remarked dryly.
The camera appeared to zoom ever closer. Maybe TV cameras were like cats and the more ambivalent towards them you seemed, the more they focused on you.
‘What are you singing today, Roe?’ Róisín nodded encouragingly and Roe sensed she was rooting for her.
‘I’m singing ‘Defying Gravity’.’
Michael Holland gave something of a disparaging whistle at this, and Róisín shot him a look before adding. ‘‘Defying Gravity’. It’s a tough choice, Roe.’
‘Yeah but …’ Roe gazed around the auditorium until she found Lindy, Mags and Danny, who were all waving and, she knew, silently cheering for her. ‘I know I can do this,’ she added firmly, smiling at Lindy.
