‘Jesus, can’t you just shut up for a minute? I’m trying to get this post up – I have to publish it before 9 a.m. – and then I have a really important meeting. I can’t fix this whole thing right this second.’ Ali could feel the tide of stress threatening to overwhelm her.
Seeing Liv’s face freeze, she tried to backtrack immediately. It’d been the longest conversation they’d had in weeks.
‘I’m sorry, Liv, I’m really sorry, OK? I really am – I don’t want to hurt Sam. I’m just afraid he’ll ditch me if I tell him the truth. I will sort everything out – I just need more time.’
Liv looked like she was about to go on the offensive once more but thought better of it. ‘I’m really worried about you, Ali. You ditched your job for this. You’re lying to everyone. You’re doing sponcon while your dad’s getting sicker and sicker.’ She came around the table and hugged her long and hard.
‘Please, don’t. I’ll cry, Liv. And then my face’ll be wrecked before this meeting.’ Ali disengaged from the hug, avoiding Liv’s probing gaze. She made a mental note to add Liv to the list of people she needed to keep at arm’s length. The list was growing. Miles, Mini, Sam, Liv – anyone she couldn’t maintain her pristine façade in front of, really. Avoiding Liv’s eyes, she took a final snap of the flat lay and started to clear up. ‘I’ve got to get going. I have a brand meeting.’
Ali started gathering her kit. Now the ring-light and tripod went everywhere with her. With eighty thousand people watching her Stories she couldn’t rely on just any old lighting anymore.
Liv stood staring at her and shaking her head.
Ali’s phone started buzzing and she could confidently say she had never been happier to see the words ‘Mini calling’.
‘I have to get this.’ Ali started moving towards the door. ‘Might catch you before I head to the retreat thingy later.’ She hit the green button and mouthed ‘Bye’ to Liv’s stony face as she turned and fled out the door to her car – she needed to get on the road.
Taking the call from Mini had been a mistake. Her make-up had looked pretty dodge by the end of the Liv hug and now, after five minutes on the phone to Mini, it was completely wrecked. Things with Miles were getting worse but the doctors seemed to communicate solely in cryptic euphemisms that made it impossible to establish what they were really saying.
The whole thing was taking its toll on Mini. She barely reacted to Ali saying she’d be away for a few days. Normal Mini would’ve pumped her for info – where she was going, with whom and why. New Mini had her advantages, of course – at no point had she taken even the slightest bit of interest in Ali’s recent Instagram adventures. It was amazing how insular the Instagram world could be and this worked to her advantage. You could be Insta-famous and no one beyond the bubble even knew who you were. It was dangerous too – it made everything on there seem even further from reality.
Mini was clearly lost in her own issues. Her usual all-business demeanour had crumbled in the last weeks. She was even taking time away from the gallery. Eleanor, her younger sister, was staying over a lot. The two were very close, always cackling at private jokes and references no one else got. Seeing Mini transformed in Eleanor’s presence always made Ali wish she’d had a sister. Though Liv was nearly as good. Usually. With the way things were right now, Ali was starting to worry they wouldn’t get that back. Just a few more weeks. She gripped the wheel, glancing at Google Maps to make sure she was heading the right way.
And then what, Ali? What happens in a few weeks? She hushed the thought.
She got to the business park early for her meeting with Baby Bella Boo Boo Buggies. It was a grim collection of warehouses, tile shops and printing companies on the western edge of the city. She scouted a spot for her next update and found a serious dearth of Insta-worthy locations. Eventually, she set up behind a red-brick block next to what she suspected was a septic tank. The glamour. Careful to keep the shot tight, she babbled for a few minutes about how she couldn’t wait to reveal what she’d been working on. Oh, and for everyone asking, her top was from ASOS. No one had been asking, of course – this was just to give the illusion that she was flat out responding to her followers.
It was a curious thing, but the more followers she got, the less engaged they seemed. When she’d just been plain old @Ali_Jones she’d often have the chats in the DMs but now, though there were more people watching, they seemed to say less. It was creepy.
Don’t be paranoid, Ali. They’re not some giant crowd of faceless stalkers. They’re your people. You wanted them and now you’ve got them. She folded away the ring-light and tripod and headed around the front of the building where Sian, the brand manager, was waiting with a big bunch of flowers.
‘Congratulations, Ali! Big day – designing your first collection!’
‘Oh gawd, I’m nervous! I’ve never designed anything. Except maybe the design-your-own at Pizza Hut.’
Sian laughed uproariously. ‘That’s why we love you here at Bella Boo Boo! You’re just so real!’ Ali smiled awkwardly. ‘So right this way, Ms Designer!’
Oh god. It was always all a bit much with these people.
Ali was shown into a meeting room filled with pram paraphernalia. There was a white board with the word ‘ideas’ written large. On the vast table were swatches of fabric in different shades of tasteful grey along with a mountain of pastries and fruit platters. A couple of bored-looking men were introduced as the design team, here to ‘guide the process’.
The process, it transpired, was pretty simple. Ali was given a coffee. They discussed how structurally there was little to improve on the Bella Boo Boo Buggy but what they needed was Ali’s vision – this meant picking which grey she liked best. She also had a choice of three innovative features they could add. She opted for the iPhone holder – great for strolling and scrolling. She practised her signature a couple of times for the new logo, which would be ironed on to the bassinet part of the buggy, and that was pretty much it. The Bella Boo Boo Buggy by @AlisBaba was born. Ali took a few snaps of the process then the photographer arrived to shoot Ali with the buggy for the campaign.
‘It’s not ready, though, surely?’ Ali was flustered; she hadn’t expected the turnaround to be literally that day. A hairdresser was already fixing her hair while the make-up artist prepped her brushes.
One of the designers just rolled his eyes and headed out the door. The other one leaned across the table. ‘You’ll just use one of the normal buggies and then we’ll fix the colour and add the logo in Photoshop. C’mon, you’re an influencer, you know how it works.’ He winked and followed his colleague out the door.
The whole thing was wrapped up by noon and Ali was back in her car posting about her ‘exciting news’ before lunchtime.
‘I’ve been working on this project for so long and it is so exciting to finally be able to tell you about it.’ She paused in her typing. It just wasn’t that satisfying to be claiming she’d poured blood, sweat and tears into picking a colour. They’d kept referring to her as the designer, which was fairly awkward given the actual designers were sitting right there.
She X’d out of the post and saved it as a draft. She brought up her feed and found herself face to face with a smiling Kate brandishing her engagement ring. Ali hit the Heart button and typed ‘Congrats. Amazing news!’ She noticed Kate was also claiming to have ‘designed’ the ring. She’d picked the diamond and asked for a plain band. That, it seemed, constituted designing something on Planet Instagram.
I should just be owning this, Ali thought. All the times I’ve seen influencers bring out their various lip kits and #goalsjournals. Now I finally have something with my name on it. I should be enjoying this moment.
She could hear how she sounded but fuck it. She just had to remember how jealous she used to get seeing these exciting-news posts. Now someone else was seeing her exciting news and feeling jealous of her. She went back to the draft and amped up the enthusing to max levels.
‘In the planning stages of the new Bella Boo Boo Buggy by @AlisBaba, I thought so long and so hard about what it is that new mamas really need after welcoming their little bundles into the world …’ She wrote at length about her ‘process’, her ‘vision’ and the nights spent toiling with her sketchbook. She rounded it off with no less than twenty-five hashtags, boldly including ones like #DesignersOfInstagram and #AliSketches.
