‘Fuck off. Not really?’
‘Yep,’ said Ali, trying to dial back the gloating.
‘Shit, the bullshit biz is lucrative.’ Liv shook her head. ‘Can’t put a price on integrity though,’ she concluded, making a couple of notes in the journal where she frequently jotted down ideas for her thesis.
‘I have used it.’ Ali was feeling testy. ‘I’m not lying – my nails have improved.’
‘Oh, right, you’re not a liar. Not at all! If you can’t take a little negging, that suggests to me that your conscience is bothering you, darl.’ Liv tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow.
God, things had become unbearable between them. Liv had virtually given up all pretence at still being friends. Ali hated fighting with her. She was too good at it for a start.
‘Nope, conscience is on board with this.’ Ali got up and began prepping the breakfast post flat lay. ‘I’m making really good money, I’m not hurting anyone and, if I’m not mistaken, your thesis would be screwed without me, no?’
‘Oh, so you’re aware of my thesis? Because you never fucking ask me about it!’ Liv said pissily.
‘Well, you never asked me about the meeting with Miles’s doctors.’ Ali was relieved to have something to throw back in her face.
Liv ducked her head and looked stricken. ‘Shit, Ali. I’m sorry,’ she said quietly. She sighed. ‘How did it go?’
‘It’s not good. They seem to think he doesn’t have much time left. The last infection …’ Ali massaged her forehead. ‘I dunno. I don’t want to get into it. How’s the thesis going?’ She wanted to keep Liv talking while she was feeling a touch more amenable; Ali missed her more than she wanted to acknowledge.
Liv sighed. ‘My last Google search was “how many people abandon their thesis”.’
‘Yikes, mine was,’ Ali consulted her phone, ‘“second-trimester pregnancy symptoms”.’
‘Oh? So how’re you going to be feeling in the coming months?’
‘Oh, it’s a hellscape: leg pains, loose teeth, bleeding gums, pelvic pain, leg cramps, puffiness. You could write a thesis on preggo symptoms. It’s a bloody shitshow. Never heard any of the Insta-mums talking about their urinary tract infections before! Lots of material for the ’gram, though. I’m gonna do a whole series on “stuff no one tells you about pregnancy”.’
‘Oh yeah, you’re definitely the right person to be explaining the process of gestation.’ Liv’s tone was still mocking but definitely warming up. ‘How’s lover boy? Haven’t seen him.’
‘Em, he’s cool,’ Ali said airily, rearranging the flat lay.
‘Ah, he’s still pissed about the fake visit to the imaginary doctor that he missed out on?’
‘Well, he was hurt,’ Ali conceded, nudging a bottle of mouthwash closer to a smoothie bowl she’d made by adding food dye to PVA glue and topping with berries and some potpourri – it looked infinitely better than any smoothie bowl she could’ve made for real and she could use it over and over, just changing up the toppings. ‘He’s a real “feelings guy”.’ Ali frowned. It was hard to get the mouthwash bottle to talk to the rest of the breakfast-tray aesthetic. ‘It looks a bit off,’ she muttered.
‘Well, most people use mouthwash in the bathroom,’ Liv offered. ‘Maybe that’s why it looks weird. What’s he said?’
‘Oh,’ Ali sighed, ‘just stuff like how it’s his baby too and he wanted to be there with me.’
‘What a total prick.’
‘I wasn’t saying that,’ Ali protested. ‘But he is being weirdly proprietary about the whole thing. Keeps wanting to tell his sisters and, ugh, I just wish he’d get off Instagram. He’s always on my Story. I wish he’d be supportive but not so invested, ya know? Thank fuck I’m getting away to the duffed-up-bitches retreat later. I need to get a plan together and I can’t think straight when he’s around with his lovely arms and nice smell.’
‘The arms are very nice alright,’ Liv agreed. ‘But, Ali, I’m not sure there’s any amount of thinking straight that’ll get you out of this. One way or another you’re going to lose. You see that, don’t you? Whether it’s followers or Sam. Or both,’ she finished grimly.
‘I think I need to put the mouthwash into a little jar or something, maybe with a stripy straw.’ Ali fussed with the bottle, the familiar quake in her chest at Liv’s words.
‘Ali?’
‘I know it’s a tricky situation. I just need to get through the Glossies and I’ll figure it out then.’
‘But what’ll you do?’
‘I’ll think about it then.’ Ali sounded a lot more certain than she felt. ‘I don’t have the headspace right now. Between Sam and my dad and sponcon, I’ve too much going on. But I’ll figure it out.’
‘Sam is genuinely the best thing that’s happened out of all this. I think you love him but you need to shut this Ali’s Baba madness down and just be real with him.’
