Once I’m standing in front of her door, I take a deep breath and knock. Heidi answers, looking me up and down with absolute disgust in her eyes. I suppose I might have earned that. I don’t let her know that though. I tip my chin in the direction of the room. “Heaven around?” I try to get a glimpse over her shoulder to see.
“Not for you, she’s not, so you can leave now.” Her blue eyes blaze with ire and her tone is so icy the temperature drops a few degrees.
“I’m not going anywhere until I talk to Heaven.” I cross my arms and plant my feet in a show of determination.
“She doesn’t want to talk to you. After what you said to her, why would you even bother coming around?”
“I’m not leaving,” I tell her again.
With a sigh, Heidi moves, closing the door behind her but not all the way. I push it open and get a full view of the pixie in question. Only she doesn’t look like the same vibrant girl. She looks just like Maddox said. Broken and shattered.
My heart plummets to depths unknown, realizing my thoughtless, cruel words are why her face is streak red and wet with tears. Her soft sobs fill the room, and panic fills my chest.
Memories of when I once dried the tears of heartbreak flood my very being, and I am frozen in my spot.
I lie in bed, listening to the soft sobs coming from across the hallway. I hate it when she cries, but I’m helpless to do anything. I can’t stop the constant beratement and bullying that is flung her way any more than I can stop it when it is lashed out at me.
“Worthless.”
“Why can’t you do anything right?”
“You’re just like your father.”
“You’re an embarrassment.”
Some days aren’t like that. Some days, we’re praised to the point of worship.
“Sylvia, Ryder is a musical prodigy.”
“Timothy, lookat how beautiful my daughter is. She is theperfect likeness to me when I was a child.”
“Diana, did I tell you that Ryder scored the highest on his exams for the entire grade?”
But the compliments aren’t really for us. They’re for her. She is seeking admiration and attention for being our mother. We are her greatest accomplishment when it suits her. When it doesn’t, then we’re nothing but a disappointment.
She’s worse with Rayna than she is with me. And starting tomorrow, I won’t be here to help my sister. I won’t be able to comfort her fragile heart.
Me? I may only be twelve, but I no longer care what my mother says or thinks. If she thinks I’m an embarrassment now, just wait. I’ll show her what an embarrassment really is.
She’s only sending me away because she doesn’t get to me like she does Rayna. She wants me gone, so I can’t protect my sister.
My sister is beautiful, smart, loving, and so, so gentle. The exact opposite of me. She wants our mother’s approval so badly, and a piece of her dies every day she doesn’t get it.
I am afraid of what it’s doing to her. She’s nearly broken now. How will she be in five years?
A tap comes from my door then it begins to creak open. Her dark hair is the first thing I see before her tiny body comes into view. We may betwins, but Rayna has always been so tiny.
“Can I sleep with you tonight, RyRy?” she sniffles.
I flip my covers back, inviting her in. She slips in beside me. A stuttering sob escapes her throat. It makes my chest hurt.
“I don’t want you to go,” she cries softly.
“I don’t want to go either,” I whisper. We have to be quiet. If mother found out she came in here, there would be hell to pay.
“Why did you have to do it, Ry? Why couldn’t you just be good? Then we could stay together.”
My stomach drops. I know she’s right. I should be good. But it’s hard to be good when you’re angry. It’s hard when you can’t tell anyone why.
