I relaxinto him. I’m not changing his mind tonight. So I let his words wash over me, let his arms around me lull me into a peaceful sleep.
Jake
The sun blares in through the small window on my face, waking me from a fitful sleep. I was too worried about Cara to sleep well. Iwas afraid I’d wake up to find she’d taken off in the middle of the night.
Fortunately, she didn’teven stir. I wonder when the last time was she slept so peacefully.It makes my heart warm, knowing I’m the reason.
She says she can’t be what I want or need. I know she can. Shejust needs to believe it. She needs to realize she was a victim and she deserves love.
I prop on an elbow, just watching her breathesoftly, easily.I’m not sure I’ve seen her looking so relaxed since she was a teenager.I’d love to give her another reason to relax.
Her lashes flutter across her cheeks. Her eyes open slowly, focusing on my face. And I wait for it.
I wait on her to realize we arein bed together. I wait for that flash of regret. I wait for the panic.
“Hi,” she says softly, and I release the breath I was holding.
“How are you feeling today?” I go ahead and rip the bandage off.No sense in pretending last night didn’t happen when I know it’s going to be on her mind. She opens her mouth tospeak.I can see the ‘fine’ she’s about to reply in her eyes. I cut her off before she says it. “I want the truth, Cara. How are you really feeling today?”
“I’m freaked out,” she says softly, her eyes leaving mine. I’m still not sure if she’s afraid to be vulnerable or if she’s afraid of being a burden, but I have a feeling it’s the latter.
“We never did talk about what happened last night,” I stroke a finger down her cheek.
“I – are you sure you want to hear?” she avoids my eyes.
“You can skip over the parts where you fucked him?” I try very hard but fail to keep the growl out of my voice.
She nods. “That is why I brought him back here. Cami and Josephine thought it would help me relax, but it never got that far.”
I can’t stop the internal cartwheels. I do manage, however, to just give her a short nod instead of grinninglike a damn fool.
“Tell me what happened, baby,” I encourage.
“We got back here. I was a nervous wreck when we got on the bus. I excused myself to the bathroom,where I took my anxiety medicine and splashed some cold water on my face. When I came back out, he offered me a beer, but I didn’t trust it.Guess you’ve noticed I’ve got a few trust issues,” shetries to make fun of herself,but it falls flat. “Anyway, after I finally relaxed a bit, I moved to the bedroom. He came behind meand wrapped an arm around me like you did the other day. I could feel the flashback coming but held it at bay. I just kept reminding myself that wasin the past. I dug my fingernails into my fist andfocused on the clock on the wall,and the noises outside that weren’t there that night.It took another minute or two, but it finally abated,and I thought everything was fine. Then he turned me toward the mirror and said....” she stops talking, her bottom lip quivers and tears well in her eyes.
I pull her to my chest. I softly plant a kisson the top of her head, giving her the moment she needs to get her thoughts together.It’s a few minutes that I need too. I’m about a second away fromgoing to find the guy myself.“What did he say, baby?”
“He said ‘watch’.”She says with stunted breath. “As soon as he said it, I knew.” She jumps from my arms, suddenly. She whirls around to face it. “It was him, Jake. I know it was. I never saw his face. Even his voice and accent seemed different last night, but I knew it was him when he said those words in my ear.When I met his eyes in the mirror, he smirked. He knew it was me too.”
My jaw clenches tightly. The man, or at least one of the men responsible for the terror she went through, washerewith her last night. Touching her.
It takes restraint I didn’t know I possessedto just sit there. I want to rage. I want to break shit. I want to find that son of a bitch and gut him. I’ve never felt such a proclivity for violence in my life, but right now, I could commit cold-blooded murder and not have a single regret.
I keep my features carefully schooled. This is about making her know she’s safe, and raging would do the opposite right now.
I pull her back to me. “He’s gone now,” I reassure her. “He won’t get close to you again. Not as long as I’m here.”
“He’s supposed to be dead,” she whimpers. “I saw him lying in his own blood. How is he still alive?”
“I don’t know,” I press my lips to her temple, then move her, so she islaying beneath me. “I don’t know. And last night might have been a coincidence, but I swear he won’t get close to you again.Do you believe me?”
Her eyes war with conflict. I’m asking her to trust me without using the words. She is battling her lack of faith in herself, her ability to trust herself, even when she must know deep down she can trust me.It’s a power struggle within her own mind. Finally, she gives me aslight nod. It’s something. More than I had yesterday.
I lean down to kiss her forehead. I let my lips linger a moment before I draw back. Her eyes move from mine to my lips. She wants to kiss me, but she’s afraid. Afraid to admit it or want it.She’s afraid of the attachment. She’s afraid of the emotions. She thinks she wants nostrings.
She just needs that push.
Imove slowly until my lips are pressed to hers. She tenses for half a second. Then she accepts my mouth. I move slowly, gently, letting her know she can trust me, not just with her secrets but with her heart. I know she didn’t tell me last night because she trustsme. She wanted to scare me off. I gave her my secrets anyway.I gave her my trust so she could see that she could trust me.
