“What did he say to you when it happened?” Raul asks, but chuckles when I frown at him. “I’ve studied psychology and trauma for a long time, darling. Speak up.”
“He called me a freak,” I admit with a sigh. “I was in pain when it happened… and he said I was a freak for coming when I was being punished…”
“That’s why you panicked,” he says.
“Yeah,” I admit.
“So I was right to be worried about you, because you weren’t okay,” he says, and I nod. “Alania, I’m sorry.”
“Why?” I ask, confused.
“I shouldn’t have done that without getting some kind of idea of how you’d handle it,” he says. “I assumed that because it didn’t trigger you to get off with intentional pain play that you could handle that.”
“But I loved it,” I say.
“Baby, you can love something and it not be good for you,” he says gently. “Drug addicts love the feeling of drugs, but they aren’t good for them. You like pain, but you were raised to take pain while being mocked when pleasure was forced. I should have explored that further before pushing you that far.”
“So I shouldn’t want…”
“No,” Raul interrupts. “CNC is a very normal and healthy kink, especially for survivors of sexual assault. It is based on consent, and I had that. You trusted me, and you had two others watching. You knew you were safe and had room to call things off. I failed to make sure I knew how you’d react. It is my job after that scene to provide you with aftercare, and I didn’t do that. You found out second-hand that I was upset and worried. This led to you silently spiraling. All of that could have been avoided if I had made sure to be there when you woke up. So, for that… I am sorry, Alania. Truthfully, I have never been with anyone with a CNC fantasy. The fact that I, too, share that fantasy, but in the giving end of that, makes me feel like absolute garbage. I let my emotions lead, and I felt like a predator.”
“You…”
“Want nothing more than to hold you down and ruthlessly fuck you while you pretend to not want it? Yes,” Raul says. “I want you to want me to destroy you.”
“I want. I want a lot,” I say with wide eyes. “Does Fiona not like that?”
“No, Fiona isn’t keen on force,” he says. “Don’t compare yourself to her. I’d love to do the same to her, but I won’t. You enjoy it, so I will indulge.”
“I know, I’m confusing. I’m sorry,” I say with a sigh.
“Alania, you aretraumatized. Healing doesn’t always make sense, and none of us has all the right answers. It’s our job to help you find your way out of the dark, though. You were forced to cope in silence, and now that you have found your voice, you don’t know how to use it. You’re trying, though, and that is what is important,” Raul says.
“Well, what now?” I ask.
“Now…” Raul says, turning me to the table and having me bend at the waist to grab the edge. A shiver runs up my spine when he pulls my dress up to my waist. “I’m going to fuck you just the way you need while your husband and brother watch you cry for me.”
“Don’t you mean come?” I ask.
“No,” he says. Raul grabs my hips and rams his cock deep inside my pussy, making me scream. He does it again, and it forces me across the table, where I grab hold of the opposite edge.
“Fuck!” I cry out when he starts fucking me violently deep.
“Eyes up, my helpless little whore. Let them see those pretty tears,” Raul growls as he grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls my head up. Adrian and Brent are watching me with smiles, and Fiona looks positively giddy.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That hurts,” I moan.
“Good,” Raul growls. He tightens his grip and continues to fuck me hard and deep, quickening his pace until I am nearly sobbing as I come. He is unrelenting and brutal, and I am his willing victim.
When Raul comes, he immediately pulls me up so he can turn me to face him. He hugs me tightly to his chest as the sobs turn hysterical. I don’t know why I am so upset because I am floating high above the clouds, lost in a blissful daze. When I calm down, he pulls me back and kisses me.
“You’re a monster,” I sniff.
“And you are a dove I want to break,” he says with a smile. “Thoughts?”
“I’m going to need you to randomly do that… often,” I say, making everyone chuckle. “Thank you for being a freak with me.”
“Always, Little Dove,” Raul says, cupping my cheek. “You should let them hug you. I think I scared Brent.”
