“No,” I say.
“Are you upset at me?”
“Raul…” I say with a sigh.
“Ah. I thought so,” he says, standing me up and turning me to face him. “What did I do, Alania?”
“Nothing,” I snip. “Just forget it. I was just trying to help.”
I try to walk away, but when he grabs my wrist, something snaps in my head, and I turn around and shove him away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” I snap at him.
“Nia,” Brent says.
“No. She’s okay,” Raul says. He steps closer, and I am about to hit him when he suddenly grabs me by the throat and yanks me closer.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Brent barks.
“Give him a second,” Adrian says quietly.
“Say it, Alania. If you are going to be mad, own it,” Raul says simply.
“No,” I growl. Raul gently kisses me before letting his hand drop.
“I’m sorry I upset you. I was too hard on you last night and…”
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” I snap back.
“Or what?” Raul asks simply. “What are you going to do?”
“Fuck you,” I scoff. “You can’t even pretend to be aggressive.”
“You are upset that I was worried about you?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“No, goddamn it,” I snap.
“Then what?”
“You didn’t trust me!” I scream at him. “You did all that, and didn’t even trust me to speak up if it was too much. You assumed you hurt me, even though I never once fucking said you did. I never said the safe word. I never gave you a reason to think you did anything, and you didn’t fucking trust me. No one does. Everyone treats me like a fragile little flower, but can act perfectly fucking normal with any of the others.”
“You’re right,” Raul says. “I was wrong to assume that you failed to speak up. For that, I apologize. I should have trusted you and not made baseless assumptions. What else?”
“I… Loved that you made everything so… mean,” I say.
“But?”
“But getting upset and not trusting me made me feel like… I feel like a freak for wanting someone to fuck me like it’s an attack… When you got upset…”
“You felt how?”
“Like what I want isn’t normal…” I say quietly. “I feel broken… Seeing Adrian and Brent have such a normal interaction… Knowing you were upset…”
“Tell me something, Alania,” Raul says. “Who made you feel like consenting to non-consensual roleplay was wrong? Has anyone said anything to you before?”
“Well… no,” I admit.
“Do you think that maybe it’s you who is judging you?” he asks. “Sweetheart, Edward did horrific things to you from a very, very young age… How old were you when he forced you to have an orgasm for the first time?”
“Uh… young. Before I started my period…” I say.
