“Because I hate him.”
Miller laughed. “Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I think maybe just because you were ready to have sex with Matt, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ready to have sex with me.”
I looked up at him. “Is this about the size of Little Dicky that goes oddly against his name?”
He laughed. “No. I’ll make sure you’re properly warmed up for me. I just meant…I don’t mind taking things slowly with you.”
“It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?”
“We could put the brakes on things.”
“No thanks.”
He laughed. “No thanks?”
“I reject your proposal.” I moved so I was straddling him. “In fact, I’d much rather put my foot down on the accelerator.”
He reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Maybe when we can have a discussion about Matt and you don’t cry.”
“My heart isn’t broken anymore.”
“I think it still is, kid.”
I didn’t want him to be right. I didn’t want Matt to be stuck in my head. I was here because I wanted to be. I was choosing Miller. I loved Miller. And yet…I did still cry when I talked about Matt. As much as I wanted to say that my heart was healed, it still hurt sometimes. “I don’t want to go back to being just friends.”
“Were we ever just friends?”
No.No, we definitely weren’t. “I think we should still do hand stuff. Oh and can you keep doing that thing with your mouth?”
He laughed. “That’s the opposite of putting the brakes on.”
“Miller, you can’t expect me to sleep in the same bed with you and not want more now that I know what more feels like.”
“I’ll sleep on the couch.”
Now I really did want to cry.
“Just until you figure things out.” He kissed my forehead. “I don’t want you to be thinking about Matt when I’m fucking you.” The sweet gesture of a kiss on the forehead combined with his naughty words had my heart racing.
God, why had I cried talking about Matt? I could be under Miller right now enjoying my life. Matt was certainly out there enjoying his. Why was he ruining mine?Matthew freaking Caldwell.
Runaway - Chapter 35
Wednesday - New Year’s Eve
I was trying to respect Miller’s wishes, I really was. But the bed was cold without him. And I knew his back was bothering him from sleeping on the couch. When I told him I didn’t mind sleeping on the couch he wouldn’t hear of it.Stubborn ass.
And just like that I was thinking about how good his ass looked in his gray sweatpants. I was a big fan of his gray sweatpants.
Enough was enough. I’d given it three whole days of us being “friends.” I didn’t want to be friends with him. I wanted to move forward. I wanted to live. I wanted him to love me back.
In the grand scheme of things, I knew that three days wasn’t exactly very long. But Miller and I had been toeing over this friendship line for over a year now. And now that we’d crossed the line…I couldn’t go back. I didn’t want to.
Besides, it was New Year’s Eve. I wanted to spend every second of tonight with him. Including sleeping with him. In both senses of the phrase.
My New Year’s resolution was to stop letting Matt haunt my thoughts. And the new year was going to start with a bang. Literally.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t bring any warm clothes with me, so I was wearing the spring dress I’d almost worn back in California. Before I chickened out and went with jeans on a night out with my coworkers. When I’d dreamed thatI was dancing with Miller instead of some seedy guy at that nightclub. I’d wanted Miller then. And I wanted him now.
