His soft smile had none of his usual flair. It was sad and resigned. Worry for his sister, overshadowing anything that might threaten his own life.
Simon nodded, and I left. Outside the salon, I looked up and down the street. I wondered where she was. Was she up on the mountain? Had she left town?
I looked at my watch. I didn’t have time to try to track her down. Haizley was waiting.
I walked in when Haizley opened the door and immediately sat on the couch. Digging into my pocket, I pulled out the letter Rachel wrote me and stared at it.
Holding it out to Haizley, she took it and held it in her hand. She waited for me to say the words. Now that I was here, I wasn’tsure I could. I stood and walked to the window. Staring through the glass, I rasped, “Please read it.”
The sound of the paper being unfolded in the silence felt like a tornado alarm. A warning that shit was about to get stirred up and survival wasn’t guaranteed.
I didn’t look at her. Couldn’t watch her blank face as she read. That was the thing about Haizley. She was a master at hiding her emotions from me.
“Oh, Cash,” she breathed.
Chapter Fifteen
Cash
“I met someone,” I admitted as I stared out the window.
“I thought maybe you had.”
“It’s too fucking soon,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.
“Why is it too soon?”
I turned on the woman, throwing my hands in the air as I cried, “It’s the middle of fucking March. It’s been what, nine, ten weeks? Ryder will fucking kill me.”
“Are you worried about what Ryder will think?”
“Fuck no.” I paced the room. I was worried about what everyone would think. Which was fucking stupid because I had never cared what anyone thought before.
Didn’t care that my parents thought I was crazy. Didn’t care what the fucking shrinks thought about me and my fucking apathy. Hell, I never even cared what Steele thought of me as my president.
I did what I was fucking told and stayed the hell away from the sadistic son of a bitch.
But this was different.
What my brothers thought meant something to me.
Hell, the whole fucking town of Diamond Creek had become my family. What they all thought meant something to me.
“It’s clear Rachel didn’t want you to be lonely. She knew there was someone else out there for you. Why would you ignore her wishes?”
“Because she fucking used me. Her wishes mean jack shit right now.” I slammed myself onto the couch and it bumped against the wall. I winced thinking about what Gunner would do to me if I left a fucking mark on the wall in Haizley’s house.
“How did she use you?” Haizley asked, and for once she let her guard down. She looked confused. Like somehow what I said wasn’t possible.
Saint Fucking Rachel never used anyone in her goddamn life. She put every fucking person she met before herself.
“She knew she was fucking dying. Knew it could happen at any goddamn minute and still she got involved with me. She made me fucking love her knowing she would fucking leave me.”
Haizley took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She took three more before she finally looked at me. She shook her head. “I am going to hold your hand when I say this. Grow the fuck up.”
My head reared back as if she punched me. “Excuse me?”
“You’re right. Rachel did put everyone ahead of herself. She was always the first one ready to lend a hand. To make someone feel appreciated and wanted. Like they were part of her life. I am incredibly sad that I never had the chance to get to know her better. And the one thing she did for herself was to love you. To give herself to you for five years. She could have holed up in her home and waited to die. She could have isolated herself and sunk into a depression. Instead, she chose to live. She chose to love the people around her the same way she always did. Can you honestly sit there and tell me that your life wasn’t made better by having her on the back of your bike for the last five years?”
