Stuart sighed, but it was a sign that I’dwon, so it was a beautiful sound to me. “You are a brat, but I promise.”
Since he was probably right, I talkedaround it instead of agreeing with him. “But I’m endearing when you get used tome.”
Stuart laughed and hugged me tight. “Thatyou are.”
He held me a few long moments before he relaxedhis arms and shifted me around so my back was against the arm of the loveseatand my legs were draped across his. “What did you want to see at the clubtonight?”
Stuart chuckled. “Besides the Doms youplanned on interrogating.”
I gave him my best innocentwho, me?expression before I lifted my arms in anI have no ideagesture. “Justthe people, honestly. I don’t really have any desire to watch strangers doingscenes. It was about finding the right Dom for me.”
Stuart nodded. “Alright, what if I saidthat watching the scenes was something I really enjoy?”
I took a moment to think about it becauseit was obviously a quiz and a way to make sure I was willing to open up to him.Silly man. “If you made it an order, I would say ‘Yes, Master’ and enjoy itbecause it was making you happy and because it would be a good learningexperience.”
I gave him a teasing but slightly dirtyleer that made him chuckle. “And a happy Master might feel generous later.”
Shifting slightly, I became a bit more serious.“But if you were asking whatI wanted, I would tell you that I wouldrather spend tonight just with you. Then, the next time we come, that would bea good opportunity to show me the type of scenes you enjoy.”
Then I thought of something. “I’m not opposedto watching or participating, if that’s something you were wondering about.”
Might as well get that out there right offthe bat. I might not want to flaunt my body just to attract some strange Dom’sattention, but I didn’t have an issue with the idea of being undressed for ascene.
Stuart nodded then grinned. “But? I canalmost hear it in your voice.”
Because he was a great Dom and a genuinely goodman.
Yet he seemed to wonder why I wanted tosubmit to him.
“My fantasies have always focused aroundthe idea of my Dom.” Even watching porn was simply educational unless I couldimagine my fantasy Dom holding me while we watched it together. “So, in thiscase, if you want me sexually aroused from the scene we’re watching, relatingit back to you and me in some way would get you the best results.”
I wasn’t sure what he would say, but Stuartwas Stuart. “You’ve talked about this with your therapist, correct?”
He was so cute.
“Yes, I have. We both grasp that I mightend up being more unique than someone completely vanilla could understand, buta Dom who’s the right match for me would appreciate my focus.” I was going tobe highly focused on pleasing my Dom and that would be wonderful for us both,given the right circumstances.
Stuart ran his hand over my head and downmy neck. He settled it right at the base of my throat almost like it was acollar. “Because you need to be owned.”
“Yes. My therapist said that my childhoodstrengthened my submissive side and my need to belong to someone to feel loved.I’ve tried more casual, vanilla dating and that felt wrong. It was highlyuncomfortable.” Why some people saw submission as a bad thing, I’d never know. “Butmost people don’t have the patience for me.”
We’d raised an entire generation of youngpeople with no patience whatsoever.
“But I already trust you, so part of thatisn’t relevant.” It felt like I’d gotten off track. “What was the originalquestion? Oh yes, scenes. I would find them interesting if I knew it was makingyou excited. Is that what you were looking to understand?”
Stuart nodded, studying my face again.“What is one of the most common themes that’s in your fantasies about your Dom?”
“Master. Not Dom. My Master likes tying meup. Sometimes he’s using me for his pleasure. Sometimes he’s just enjoyinghaving me restrained.” Stuart’s fingers trailed up my neck and around my ear ashe continued to watch me.
Just the casual but possessive touch wasenough to leave me fighting to pay attention and answer his question.
I’d never realized how distracting a touchcould be. “I never felt wanted as a child and I had to do too much on my own,so that translated to my love map being wired for a need to be controlled andowned to feel special. More conventional relationships leave me wondering ifthey really want to be there.”
Even casual friendships were hard becauseit was too easy to negatively interpret the offhand comments people made.
“But again, my therapist says my desiresare healthy.” Too many people seemed to think that simply because I knew why Ienjoyed BDSM, it made me broken. That was ridiculous, but I’d long sincelearned that not everyone was rational.
Thankfully, Stuart seemed to understand.“That’s logical, based on your childhood.”
