Then he leaned back and watched me closely,clearly processing, so I waited. “Two dates or scenes and then I want to talkto your therapist. I’ll allow you to set the limits of the conversation, but Ineed to know that the level of control we’re discussing is healthy for you. Itrust that you’re telling me the truth, but theory is not the same as practicalexperience.”
There was a short pause. “I also need toknow that I’m healthy for you, and that’s not something you can tell me.”
Nodding, I didn’t worry about it likeStuart seemed to be doing.
I knew what Dr. Sheppard was going to say.
“That’s reasonable. I would suggest atime-based, not date or scene-based accountability system.” That seemed morepractical. “Allowing enough time for dates and conversations to give mytherapist enough data to work with seems like it would be the most productiveway to approach it.”
His expression said we weren’t going to doanything even slightly questionable until he knew he was good for my mentalhealth, so I wasn’t going to drag things out. But Dr. Sheppard needed enoughinformation and reactions to work from.
Stuart seemed to realize that it wasn’t astalling tactic because he agreed without much pushback. “Two weeks, unless we’reunable to find enough time to be together?”
That was reasonable, so I nodded. “I can’timagine needing more.”
If we required more time than that to amassseveral significant dates and discussions, there were clearly other conversationswe needed to have first. “But not vanilla dates.”
Clarifying that seemed to be the best approach.
“Scenes and significant conversations ordates where you are the Dom and I’m the sub. I don’t want to see how you wouldfeel as a friend or boyfriend. I want us to see how we would fit as Master andsub.” I already knew he’d be a wonderful friend and steady boyfriend. Thatwasn’t the issue at hand.
Apparently trying not to smile, Stuartnodded. “Yes, but as your Dom, or Master if that’s what you’re more comfortablewith, I will control the pace.”
“As long as we’re working within the limitswe discuss and I know where we’re headed, then yes.” I tried to make sure heunderstood.
I might be a brat but I wasn’t trying to berandomly difficult. “In order to feel comfortable opening up and relaxing, Ineed to know the parameters that we’re operating in and I need to know youwon’t leave.”
Which was not something just anyone couldpromise.
“My therapist signed a contract for meagreeing to sessions for at least six months unless I turned out to be astalker or an asshole.” His Dom had made that part non-negotiable, and he’dsaid I had to agree to meet him first.
Needless to say, I’d liked him.
Stuart laughed, squeezing my shoulderagain. “Alright. How about I promise that even if we don’t work out as Masterand sub, we stay friends and will do at least monthly dinners going forwarduntil one of us moves? And as long as it isn’t weird for you if we don’t workout, I would be happy for you to get to know the rest of my friends and hangout with us when we’re at the club.”
“Is this you being polite or preparing mebecause you don’t think it will work out between us?” Might as well know whathe was thinking up front.
Stuart thought for a second. “Neither. Thisis my way of saying that no matter what happens I need to know you’re safe andhappy. I worried about you for a long time after your family left, and I don’twant to relive that same situation, just with different stakes.”
“Alright.” That made sense. “How shall weproceed from here?”
Stuart chuckled. “Jumping right in, kiddo? Okay.”
He glanced around, frowning and obviouslytrying to make some kind of decision. When he focused back on me, he seemed tohave figured out what we would do. Not having to worry about that was aninstant relief.
“I’m going to go see if any of the privaterooms are available. We’re not going to do a full scene, but I want privacy totalk.” His words had me fighting not to look too excited. I didn’t want toscare him off, but the idea of doinganythingscene-related had mewanting to giggle like I was a kid again.
Nope, I needed to look calm and relaxed soI didn’t remind him of being that young…at least not until we’d had a few datesand I was firmly established as an adult in his mind.
“Sit on the couch and wait here for me.I’ll be back in a moment.” He waited to even attempt to stand until I’d wiggledback into my spot and nodded. “I’ll be right back.”
Stuart headed over to the bar where Benseemed to have taken up a position to watch us without being too obvious. Thatwas fine. I didn’t care about the audience of nosy people who were trying tofigure us out.
I had Stuart in my life again, and for thefirst time in more years than I wanted to count, it felt like I’d finallygotten a glimpse of everything I’d ever wanted…now I just had to hold on to it.
Chapter 4
Stuart
