I wassogoing to buy a lotteryticket on the way home from work.
Chapter 5
Wilder
“You’ve been home for hours and didn’tcall.”
I knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone.My mind had been elsewhere, though, and I’d just answered it out of habit. Grayhadn’t even let me say hello before he’d charged right in. Sighing, I movedaway from the table and stood up. “I thought we were supposed to ask about theweather and make small talk. Isn’t that what I was lectured about?”
He just ignored me. “Did you talk to him?What happened?”
Nosy shit. “I talked to him, yes.”
From the frustrated noise he made, Graydidn’t seem to think I was as funny as I did. “Did you say excuse me when youbumped into him, or did you actually have a conversation with him? Don’t makeme call in the cavalry. I’m sure somebody we went to school with lives nearthere.”
That was a terrible threat, and I didn’twant to see if he would actually follow through with it. I liked my privacy toomuch. “No need to haul out the big guns. I invited him to sit down and havecoffee with me when he walked into the coffee shop. I surprised him, and he wasa little bit embarrassed that I knew, but it was nice. He’s interesting and agood conversationalist.”
I also liked the fact that he noticedthings. Not just the typical points like how I dressed and what I looked like,but things like the reading and the interaction with those kids. He’d paidattention, and not just on a superficial level. It made me want to learn moreabout him.
Gray laughed. “I think surprised might bean understatement.”
Probably.
Horrified would be a better word, but I simplymade a noncommittal noise and ignored it since it wasn’t a question. “Weactually have a date this weekend. I’m going to take him out to dinner.”
“So I guess you solved the question ofwhether or not you’re bi?”
“At this point, let’s just say that I’mkeeping my options open, and I’m getting to know someone who’s interesting.”
Eventually, I would have to figure out whoI was…or maybe that wasn’t even the right way to think about it. I knew who Iwas. I just needed to figure out a new piece of myself. People seemed to thinkthat who they were was like a puzzle. There was a defined edge and everythingabout them should fit in the picture.
Maybe it was a puzzle, but it wasn’t ascomplete as everyone expected.
It was a never-ending puzzle where youdiscovered sections that may not have been there the day before because it wasalways growing…we were always growing.
Gray either understood or wasn’t going topress because he switched topics again. “What kind of things have youdiscovered about the lingerie model already?” There was a hint of laughter inhis voice, but I could tell he wasn’t being flippant.
“He’s articulate and didn’t just notice thetattoos. Anytime I asked him a question, he took it seriously and thought abouthow to answer it. I think he’s going to be someone I enjoy getting to know.”That didn’t exactly sound romantic, or even sexual, but the fact that I’d spentthe last hour sketching him said there was more on my mind than just thepossibility of a new friendship.
“But does he like the tattoos? He’s notthrown by the difference between the exterior and the interior—but does he likethe architecture?”
“I’m not a building.”
Gray chuckled. “No, but you’re built like ahouse so the analogy works. And don’t change the subject.”
“I think the fact that he noticed me andfound me attractive is evident.” Gray didn’t need to know that I could almostfeel Lane’s hands tracing over my tattoos. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that andI wasn’t sure there was a way to explain it to Gray.
There was too much going on in my head.
Unfortunately, Gray wasn’t going to leaveit at that. “What do you think about the idea of him finding you attractive?”
“People notice me all the time. If I wantedto blend into the background, I wouldn’t have visible tattoos. Besides, I’m notcompletely in the dark that gay men have found me attractive in the past.” Butthere had always been a layer of separation between me and anyone else who’djust noticed the tattoos. Man or woman, it didn’t matter. It was almost likethey were admiring artwork. Except, in this case, there was a living, breathingcanvas behind it.
But Lane had noticed the canvas as well.
“There’s a difference between some randomguy eyeing your biceps and actually dating a man.” I could almost hear Grayrolling his eyes.
“I’m not a moron. I realize that.”
