Page 108 of The Outline


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We barely made it to the bedroom before our clothes were in a heap on the floor. I took one second to wonder if Renn would notice how full my breasts were or that I had new little stretch marks along my sides, but with the reverent way he was touching me, I didn’t worry for long. Once we were fully undressed, standing next to my bed, I dropped to my knees to take him in my mouth.

He groaned. “Sadie, the only action my dick has gotten has been with my right hand. I’m already close.”

“Good.” I returned to my task.

Renn came in less than two minutes and then practically growled as he threw me on the bed, using his magic fingers to bring about one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever had. As we both lay there panting afterward, he chuckled. “Well, now that we’ve gotten that first one out of the way, I’d like to take my time.”

So we did. Renn used his hands and mouth and tongue to reacquaint himself thoroughly with every part of my body, and I did the same. When he pushed himself inside me, I almost cried. I’d missed this more than I’d realized—being this close, him filling up my body and my soul. He gazed down at me steadily as he branded me with his confident movements, remembering every trick and turn of my body. A few hours later, he was lying on his side behind me when he lifted my leg up to enter me from behind. The position didn’t allow for deep penetration, but the intimacy of being lined up that way was incredible. He gripped his arm across my chest, pulling me as close as possible, pumping into me with short strokes as he used his fingers to help get me there.

“I’m so lucky you’re mine. I’m never letting you go again,” he whispered into the dark.

We were still awake at two a.m. I laid my head on Renn’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as he ran a lazy hand up and down my back. I let my fingers tangle in his happy trail before reaching down to execute a few slow strokes of his semi-hard cock. He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow.

“I know I’m young, Sadie, but I don’t think a fourth orgasm is happening right now.”

I laughed and kept my hand exactly where it was. “Sshhhh. Just think of it as a dick massage then. Your barnacle penis and I are getting reacquainted.”

“My what?”

“Your massive monster cock, Renn,” I said without inflection. “When I was looking up biology factoids and pictures to print out for the classroom today, one website highlighted that a barnacle’s penis is eight to nine times its body size, the largest in the animal kingdom.”

“Wait a minute. You mean to tell me you had that little gem in your pocket and you decided to go with the eyelash mites?”

“What can I say? Dick pics just don’t belong on classroom walls. Even marine peen.”

He squeezed me tightly to him and kissed my forehead. “God, I missed you.”

“Me too.”

I rolled off him and we landed on our sides, sharing my pillow, nose-to-nose as we spoke in hushed tones.

“Tell me about Charlotte.” The moonlight was peeking through the blinds just enough for me to catch him smiling.

“She’s perfect. The center of her daddies’ existence.” I reached out to tug gently on a strand of his hair. “After I got your letter, I gave myself a few months to get my head on straight, but then Zach, Teddy, and I started drilling down on timing and logistics.”

Unsure how much Renn wanted to hear, I gave him the condensed version of events, leaving out some of the more awkward details about the actual…ahem…insemination. I talked about how we tried for two months, succeeding on the third cycle. I mentioned how I loved being pregnant and had none of the symptoms you heard about in TV and movies—no weird cravings, no particular nausea or fatigue, no backaches. When it came time to give birth, I turned out to be one of the rare women who had things relatively easy, laboring for less than four hours and producing a healthy baby with no drugs or other interventions necessary.

I knew Renn would be curious about the biology of things. Everybody was—it was shocking, the number of nosy questions I’d received about how we’d “made” Charlotte and who her “real” father was—so gross. But Renn was someone I planned to share my life with, so it seemed right for him to know that, with the way we’d done things, there had been a fifty-fifty chance for either Zach or Teddy to be the biological father, and Teddy’s swimmers had won the day.

“And it doesn’t matter to either of them one bit,” I said.

“I hear that. If anyone understands that blood and biology don’t decide family, it’s me.”

With that opening, I asked Renn to catch me up on his life. Apparently, it was a constant series of negotiations. Pete had moved into the house full-time, but Renn was still the main decision maker for the boys, even Gage, although Pete was highly present in their lives. They hadn’t written a blood oath about it or anything, so circumstances could still change, but they weren’t planning to do anything legal or official to acknowledge Pete as Gage’s father. Gage had started calling him “Pete” instead of “Uncle Pete,” but Renn said he’d only recently let a few “Dads” slip. And things would certainly evolve. Now that Robbie was fifteen and Gage eleven, they had their own opinions.

I rolled onto my back and put my hands behind my head. Renn crooked his elbow and rested his head in his hand, looking down at me from his side. He ran a tentative finger between my breasts and continued until he had his full palm resting on my belly.

“I don’t want to scare you, Sadie,” he began, roaming slow circles across my torso. “But hearing you talk about Charlotte makes me think about babies. In particular, it makes me think aboutmybabies…with you.”

My eyes grew wide looking at him and I caught my breath. By every conceivable measure, this was moving insanely fast, but there were four years of history pushing the pedals.

“Sadie, you are it for me. We can go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with—race car or stoned sloth—but I want my future to be with you. Kids, sharing a life, marriage if that’s something you’re into, raising my brothers together, getting to be Charlotte’s Uncle Renn, bringing you coffee while you grade papers—all of it. I meant what I said.” He put the flat of his hand on my belly, sliding it over to palm my hip as he declared, “I want everything with you.”

I grinned in the darkness, almost pinching myself as the words I’d been hoping to hear for years washed over me. I wanted to shout to the heavens in elation, open the door and scream my joy to the neighborhood—but restraint seemed called for. “Let’s be together tomorrow, Renn. And we’ll see about the rest.”

“Okay,” he whispered, kissing my shoulder.

I would tell him soon, tell him how much I loved him and wanted a future. But in that moment, I just wanted to be greedy, surrounded by his desire and vulnerability, to take what he was finally willing to give me.