Vienna pointed at her with her fork as she chewed, then said, “Youknow, I have a theory about that, because I did the same thing with my husband.”
“Tell me. Please. I will take any and all theories if they’ll help me understand.”
“Well, I don’t know anything about your childhood, but mine was…difficult. Absentee father, mom who worked two jobs, so was hardly around. I took care of myself and my little brother and sister. Not a lot of time to focus on me, you know?”
Ava nodded, eating and listening, struck by the similarities, minus the siblings.
“When I was in culinary school, I met Jay. He was amazing. Handsome. Smart. Empathetic.” She lowered her voice. “Sexy as hell, my God.” They both laughed. “He was everything I had ever dreamed of in a guy, and he wanted me. Oh, how he wanted me. He tells the story to this day of how he knew he was gonna marry me from the moment our eyes met.” She waved a hand. “Anyway. We started dating, and the closer he got, the more scared I got. See, I wasn’t used to somebody else looking out for me. And I certainly didn’t know how toletsomebody else look out for me, since nobody ever had. So the easier thing to do was to run the other way. And I did.”
“You broke up with him?”
Vienna nodded, gesturing with her wine glass. “Ripped his heart out, threw it on the floor, and stomped on it.” She blew out a breath that was clearly filled with regret. “I am so incredibly lucky that he refused to give up.” When her eyes met Ava’s, they were wet with unshed tears. “He’s an incredible man, and I know how blessed I am. But my God, I did everything I could to sabotage us.” She shook her head, clearly disgusted with herself. “Sound like a boat you might be sitting in?”
Chapter Fifteen
Regan wasn’t really into the movie she’d chosen to watch, probably because she was barely paying attention. Between checking her phone for messages from Ava to letting her mind wander off in wonder of what Ava might be doing/saying/thinking at any given moment, she was useless.
She closed the laptop with a sigh, put it away, and went into the bathroom to take care of her nightly routine. Face freshly scrubbed and teeth brushed, she climbed into her bed and turned off the light. It was earlier than she usually went to sleep here at the retreat, but she was sad and stressed and just wanted the day to be over. Clearly, Ava was having a blast out with Vienna if she wasn’t yet home, three hours later.
Lying on her back in her bed in the dark, she thought about Ava coming home and being unable to see a thing. With an irritated groan, she threw off the covers, crossed the room, and clicked on the small lamp on Ava’s nightstand, cursing herself for giving a shit whether Ava tripped over her shoes or ran into the bed. She yanked the covers up and turned onto her side to face away from the door.
Unsure how much time had passed once she’d started to drift off, she was startled awake by the click of the door opening. She heard the rustling of clothing and figured Ava was changing into her pajamas. Closing her eyes again, she focused on slowing her mind and going back to sleep.
That’s when she felt weight on her mattress. Ava slid under the covers and nestled close to Regan’s back, spooning her.
She was naked.
It didn’t make Regan proud to know that the simple touch ofAva’s skin was enough to wake up her entire nervous system, but that’s exactly what happened. Ava’s hips pushed against her ass, Ava’s breasts pressed into her back, and Ava’s hand slid from her outer thigh, over her hip, across her stomach, and up under her shirt to cup a breast and toy with a nipple. Regan couldn’t stay quiet, a soft moan leaking out of her. She grasped Ava’s hand, stopping it, and turned to look her in the eye.
What she saw shocked her.
She saw sorrow. She saw regret. She saw apology. She saw desire.
And she saw something else she didn’t want to think about.
“I’m sorry,” Ava whispered into the dim light of the room. “I panicked.”
“I know,” Regan whispered back. “It’s okay.” And it was. Just like that, it was.
Those were the only words spoken before Ava’s mouth crushed against hers, kissing her with knowledge, passion, and want. Ava shifted so she was mostly on top of Regan, and she shoved Regan’s shirt up to reveal her breasts, staring at them so hungrily Regan was sure she could actually feel her eyes, feel them sliding along her skin and rolling her nipples, and then Ava bent forward and took one into her mouth and sucked so hard, Regan thought she might pass out from the pleasure of it. She held tightly to Ava’s hips as they slid along her thigh, leaving a trail of wetness on Regan’s skin.
Sex with Ava had been incredible up to that point. Indescribably good. Their sexual compatibility was off the charts. But this? Now? Tonight? The charts were left in the dust. There were no charts; they no longer existed. There was only Ava. Her hands, her mouth, her tongue—God,her tongue.
Ava was everywhere. Her hands roamed Regan’s body. They stroked, squeezed, even scratched a little, until Regan was literally writhing beneath her, feeling like she couldn’t get enough. She wanted more but couldn’t articulate a thing because it was all so much. Ava kissed her, with certainty and thoroughness as she cupped a breast in each hand and kneaded. Soft and hard. Stroking and squeezing. Shifting her body, she used her legs to spread Regan’s and then practically dove down between them, devouring her with her mouth, her tongue, her fingers.
All Regan could do was hold on. To anything. She grabbed at the headboard. The covers. Her pillow. No longer able to differentiatebetween what part of Ava was touching what part of her, she became awash with pleasure. It was all one enormous burst of wonderfulness that took up every inch of her body and soul, and then she was coming. Colors burst behind her eyelids like fireworks as every muscle in her body tightened and she arched up off the bed. Somewhere, vaguely, she could feel Ava holding on to her, but her tongue was still moving, still stroking, still pulling sounds and spasms and absolutely mind-blowing joy from her body. She covered her own face with a pillow, knowing somewhere in her brain that she needed to let it out, and she screamed with pleasure. She didn’t groan. She didn’t whimper. She screamed into the pillow as her body took over, riding out the orgasm as long as possible before her muscles finally gave out and dropped her back to the mattress, like a heavy sack of flour.
“Jesus Christ,” she whispered, panting, eyes still squeezed shut. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
A low chuckle came from between her legs as Ava rested her cheek against Regan’s inner thigh. That was when she realized Ava’s fingers were inside her, and her body contracted once, just to remind her.
“That was amazing,” she managed to croak out. “You’reamazing.”
“Andyouare beautiful.” Ava slid her fingers out slowly, causing another small muscle spasm that made Regan gasp a soft laugh.
“Come up here,” she said, body still humming as she turned on her side so she could rest on Ava’s shoulder. Her body felt weighed down, like her limbs were filled with water, suddenly tired. She sighed happily against Ava’s bare skin. “That was…unexpected.”
Ava yawned. “Had to. Couldn’t help it.”
