“And, what? You’re on board? In doubt? On the fence? What?”
“I’m terrified.”
There. There it was. She’d blurted the words quickly, said them out loud, and the walls hadn’t come crumbling down. The roof was still intact. Nobody in the restaurant gasped and whipped their head around in horrified wonder.
Then the waiter was back, so Ava had to sit with those words hanging in the air over their table while he took their orders, refilled their glasses, and went on his way. She grabbed her wine and took a long sip, part of her irritated she’d said anything to somebody who was essentially a complete stranger, another part relieved that now she had no choice but to talk about it.
“What’s terrifying you?” Vienna asked, her face open andwelcoming as she sipped. “Regan seems pretty awesome. I heard you two have some history. Did you date before?”
Ava shook her head. “No. Oh, no. That was never even an option. I don’t date people I work with. Did that once. Disaster.”
Vienna’s laugh was hefty. “Oh, I hear that. I hear that. You do not shit where you eat, as my daddy would say.”
“Exactly. No, we worked together at the same restaurant I’m at now. Years ago. She was new. I’d been there for a year or two and thought I was all high and mighty.” She shook her head as she remembered the attitude she’d had back then, somebody at her young age a success in such a high-end place. “A little full of myself, that’s what I was. I was given a lot of leeway by my boss back then, when I first came on, but I didnotpay that forward to the people who came after me.” She sipped her wine. “Not proud of that.”
“We are stupid when we’re young.” Vienna’s soft laugh rolled around the table as she broke off a piece of the warm bread the waiter had left and dipped it in the little saucer of olive oil. “We all have things we’re not proud of.”
“True.” Ava followed suit with the bread, and oh my God, it was delicious. Yeasty and crusty and soft on the inside, the olive oil’s flavor warm and subtle. “Damn, that’s good,” she said, and Vienna nodded her agreement. “So.” She pointed her bread at Vienna as she continued her story. “Regan was younger than me. And so, so nervous. It would’ve been cute if it hadn’t affected everything she did.” A shrug. “She couldn’t cut it. Couldn’t keep up. That being said, I didn’t cut her one single millimeter of slack. I was an asshole. Horrible to work with. Again, not proud of it.”
“You get her fired?”
“I pretty much got her fired. Yeah.” She glanced down at her bread plate, then back up. “I had no guilt around it then, but I do now. I was such an asshole.”
“She forgave you?”
“Then? No. She was devastated.”
“Yeah, but you’re sleeping with her, so I’d say you’re forgiven, wouldn’t you?”
The waiter arrived with their meals, giving Ava time to absorb what Vienna had said. He gave them each cracked black pepper and parmesan cheese, then left them to their dinners.
“I think I am most definitely forgiven,” Ava said with a grin as she spun her linguine on her fork.
“I would agree with that.” Vienna had ordered the lasagna, and the piece on her fork stretched some fresh mozzarella for miles. “Wow. Look at this.” They spent several moments eating and humming their approval of their meals before Vienna asked, “So, what’s terrifying you? You haven’t answered that yet.”
No. She hadn’t. And it was time to face that demon.
“My feelings. That’s what’s terrifying. The feelings I’m starting to have for her. They scare me to death.”
Vienna set her fork down and dabbed at her mouth with her linen napkin and nodded. Then she took a moment, seeming to collect her thoughts. “I think we all figured you guys were just…having fun, you know? Like summer camp or something.”
Ava had thought something similar, so the comparison made her smile. “Yeah. That’s how it started. But now…” She took a bite, chewed, and swallowed before adding, “I don’t love how we’ve been called out, though. Especially by Liza. God, so embarrassing.”
“That bitch.” Vienna shook her head. “They say never meet your heroes, and I finally get it. She’s horrible. That was so not cool, what she did to you guys.”
“Or you. Or Maia. Or any of us.”
“Right? I came here to learn, not to be browbeaten by somebody I admired. I went through that in culinary school, thank you very much. I didn’t need to go through it again.” Vienna was worked up, and she took a sip of her wine, which seemed to calm her. She waved a hand. “Sorry about that.”
“No need.”
“So, these feelings. You gonna tell her about them?”
“God, I don’t know. In less than two weeks, we go back to our own lives.”
“You live in the same city, though.”
“We do.” Another bite of the stunningly good linguini. Perfectly al dente. Definitely homemade. She could tell by the taste, the bite. She forced her attention back to the topic at hand. “You know, I’m looking for a reason for things to not work. Like, searching for one. Whatisthat?”
