“Mateo, wait!” I call after him. He doesn’t stop, but he does slow on hearing my voice. “Please.” I’m out of breath when I reach him.
“Please, what?” he demands, swinging his attention to me. “Please, hear them out? I don’t want to, Rylee. Because if I do, then I’ll start thinking. And if I do that, then I’m going to spiral. Blackmailed or not, he should have come to us.”
He pounds his chest with his fist. “He should have trusted us. We could have helped him, worked something out. Even if he was blackmailed, it doesn’t change the fact that he slept with Missi. He knocked her up! Are you going to try and tell me she blackmailed him into that too?”
“Maybe she did. This is Missi we’re talking about. She’s evil. The devil reincarnated. I wouldn’t put it past her. You’ve seen the fucked up shit she’s done to get what she wants. And what she’s wanted for a long time is Lennox. She’s made that very well known. It wouldn’t be hard to believe that she would stoop that low to get him.”
“If he was blackmailed into sleeping with her, Rylee, that would mean she pretty much raped him.” His voice breaks when he says this, and his words are like a punch to the gut. Fuck. Fuck, he’s right. “Coercion to have sex is sexual assault, Rylee. If thats true, then fuck.”
My eyes sting with tears as my gut churns, my knees threatening to give out on me. “We can’t go there.” I shake my head. “We can’t think like that before we know what the true story is. I say we talk to Lennox, we hear him out. If it’s all bullshit and lies, then we can put it behind us and let him move on. So we can too. We’re still holding on to the unknown. And none of us are going to be able to move forward until we know everything.”
“I don’t know if I can handle knowing everything. I’ve already lost so much of myself over this, I don’t think I can lose anymore.” It’s always hard to watch Mateo break. It’s rare, but something I’ll never get used to.
“I know.” I step forward, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I know. And I feel the same way. But we have to.”
“Fuck,” he whispers harshly. “Rylee.”
“I’m here. I have you,” I murmur into his chest.
“I’m so fucking glad.” He kisses the top of my head. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I pray we never have to find out.
I’m not sure how much longer I can do this. How much longer I can lie to the men I love. This is all fucked up. We’re all so broken. None of this is healthy, yet none of us do anything about it.
We keep living in our own pain rather than facing reality.
Still, I say nothing as I let Mateo hold me, being a greedy person as I use him for the strength I desperately need.
Maybe they never have to know. Maybe everything will work out in the end. We can get Lennox back, and our lives can go back to normal.
Who am I kidding?
I’m a good liar. And the person I seem to be best at lying to is myself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
This chapter has triggering content
We watch as Rylee chases after Teo, leaving us in the dining hall. “Well, that could have gone better,” I mutter, then grab my Cherry’s pizza and finish it. Colton glares at me and I shrug. “Don’t give me that look. I eat when I’m stressed.”
He sighs and pushes the rest of the food toward me. Trevor is mumbling something under his breath, but I can’t hear it. He seems to have a lot on his mind too.
I lean over and rub his shoulder, giving him a smile. “Don't fret, buttercup. You're stuck with us crazy assholes. WhenLennox returns, and I know he will, you won't be kicked out of the bed like the three little pigs.”
He snorts, rolls his eyes, then rubs his face with his hand. “Fuck, I love you, D-man. It was ten little monkeys, not pigs.”
“Eh, potato, tomato. It still stands. You’re family now, Trev.”
He gives me a smile and Colt laughs.
Trevor leans forward and yawns. “I'm fucking wiped, but before I take off, I think we should speak about Rylee talking to someone. Donny, I know you love your therapist, would she see Rylee?”
“Yeah, Cherry has been to a few of my appointments with me. I have one tomorrow night actually. I'll have Rylee come with me. Maybe Robin can get her to open up.”
Colt sighs. “I don't like doing this behind her back, but I'm starting to worry about her. She hasn't been sleeping well, or eating. Maybe talking to Robin will help.”
Trevor stands and gives us a fist bump. “I'll see you guys later.” He walks off and Colt looks at me, raising an eyebrow.
