Esmé told her that for a successful relationship or marriage, the single most important thing was communication. “You have to say exactly what you want, what your expectations are. And then you have to listen to what your partner says. And then you have to negotiate how to make sure both of your needs are being met.”
“That sounds like a lot of work.”
“Oh yeah it is, but it’s worth it when you love someone. Anyway, it sounds like you were really open and honest, so give him space and wait it out. Whatever happens will be for the best—either it’s meant to be or it’s not.”
While Jane was waiting it out, she did a rigorous edit of the detached garage. She felt feverishly proactive. She needed to do what she was telling others to do on a daily basis. She was curating herself.
It was liberating, letting go of the objects laden with meaning of which she didn’t want to be reminded: the overalls that had belonged to Lauren Baker’s son, the remaining makeup from the influencer Chloe, even a pair of Louboutins salvaged from the trophy wife of a hedge fund billionaire. The woman had worn them once to a charity gala and would not wear them again because she’d been photographed in them.
As an outgrowth of all this physical lightening, Jane began having dreams of traveling. Both daydreams and sleep dreams, which must have meant the desire was deep-seated. She was confident that if she asked her bosses for a sabbatical, they’d be fine with it. She wanted to spend time in Italy and Argentina andJapan. She didn’t mind traveling alone. If she was going to be unattached, she might as well enjoy herself. She could sublet her place. She was habitually careful with money. She had listed some items from her cull on eBay, the Real Real, and Poshmark, and was getting very solid returns. She’d been checking her listings every morning. Today the Louboutins had sold for five hundred dollars. That was a couple nights in a nice hotel in Buenos Aires.
Standing naked, Jane looked down at the scale. She was feeling buoyant, but its insistent tug was weighing her down. She threw on her robe, picked up the scale and placed it on the pile of items she was donating. Instantly, she felt lighter.
Then, feeling momentum, Jane called her mother.
“Hello, Jane, how are you?”
“I’m good, Mom, really good. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Are you working today?”
“Yes, it’s still early here. I wanted to tell you, I’ve been thinking I might want to do some traveling soon. Maybe start with Japan or Argentina.”
“That sounds very nice, Jane.”
“Really? You think so?”
“Yes, do it while you can,” her mother replied, sounding genuinely encouraging. “Who would you go with?”
“I don’t know. I’m not really sure where things are with Teddy, and I have lots of friends who’d be fun to travel with....”
“What’s going on with Teddy?”
Jane was surprised she asked.
“We’re kind of figuring stuff out.”
“You know, for years your father and I haven’t been able to travel and leave your brother...” Her mother trailed off.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Well it’s certainly not your fault. Just a fact.”
“How is he doing?”
“The same,” her mother said, sounding resigned, yet not at peace. “Maybe a little worse. I’m worried. It’s hard to notice the changes because I see him every day, so—whenever you come out here again you’ll see for yourself.”
Now it hit Jane how profoundly sadness had saturated her mother. “I will come visit soon.”
“That would be nice. Keep me posted.”
“I will. Love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, Jane.”
Jane believed her. Simple words could have so much power.
Kelsey recognized the Chanel instantly.
