“Jane! You’re wearing my Chanel. I love it on you!”
When Jane got dressed that morning, it was obvious what she should wear. It would be a confession and a declaration at the same time.
“I meant to ask you if I could have it, but I was embarrassed, and we’re not really supposed to, and then I couldn’t bear thinking of it stuck at a resale place.”
“I am so glad you took it! I could tell you liked it. Hey, you’re looking at a girl who has stolen a thing or two—or three, or four—from wardrobe over the years, so I don’t judge. I meant to offer it to you, but that was when I was a little afraid of you still.”
Jane was taken aback. “Afraid of me? What do you mean?”
“You seemed so... serious,” Kelsey said, with an exaggerated frown.
Jane laughed. “Oh, that’s just me concentrating when I’m on a job.”
Betty, the pit bull mix, lumbered over and Kelsey absentmindedly petted her.
“I figured that out. Anyway, the Chanel totally works on you. So chic. My mother would love you.”
“Wait, is that a good thing?”
“Well, she does have good taste. Sometimes,” Kelsey reluctantly conceded. “And now I feel like a total slob!”
Kelsey was wearing jeans and a baggy T-shirt, and the minimal makeup that in LA was called a “bare face.”
“You look great, Kelsey, you always do.”
Kelsey seemed genuinely grateful for the compliment.
“Thanks. I’m so glad to see you, Jane! So much to catch up on, so much going on. Actually, I’m kind of a fucking mess for real now!”
They sat on the floor by Kelsey’s artificial Christmas tree, sorting and boxing ornaments. Kelsey was committed to participating in the entire process today.
“It’s so pathetic that our tree is still up and we’re almost at the end of February, isn’t it?”
“No, if you love Christmas—why not let it linger?”
“Exactly!” Kelsey shrieked. “I can’t deal with the end of the holidays. I love when the kids are out of school and there’s coziness everywhere. Anyway, it’s sort of my kids’ fault for insisting on a fake tree, they last forever. My kids are so green, it’s nuts, and makes me feel like—I’m never going to be green enough for them—they insisted we get an artificial tree this year and I gave in, even though I love the smell of the real ones. I probably let my kids bully me because I’m overcompensating for what a control freak my mother was, but what can you do?”
“Our parents really fuck us up, don’t they?”
“Yes! It’s the circle of life!” Kelsey exclaimed with a giggle.
“I suppose at a certain point we have to stop blaming them for how messed up we are.”
“I’m sure you’re right, but it’s so much easier and so much more fun to just blame my mother. I mean—I see my kids, they’re all stockpiling things to blame me for when they’re adults—it’s the circle of life!”
“I’m sure your kids adore you,” Jane reassured her.
“Yeah, they better, I let them get away with murder. You know, I could so easily leave the tree up forever. I love Christmas, so why not? But that’s a bit demented, so... I knew you were the one to force me to get this done.”
The tree, which was over ten feet tall, was blanketed with ornaments. A real tree probably wouldn’t have been able to bear the weight. While Kelsey took the ornaments down, Jane sorted them by category—spheres, stars, snowflakes, Santas, reindeer, candy canes, gingerbread houses. Some were crystal and clearly pricey; others were the mass-produced ones available at big-box stores for a dollar.
“At some point, I should run out and pick up the storage boxes made expressly for ornaments, that’ll be the tidiest way to store them.”
“Yes! See I totally need you. So Jane, did you notice?”
“Notice what?”
Kelsey held up her ring finger, which bore a platinum band with a rock almost large enough to be an ornament on the glitzy tree. Somehow Jane, who invariably seemed to fixate on the diamond-encrusted Tiffany cross nestled between Kelsey’s ample breasts, had missed it.
