Aaron closed his mouth, understanding the weight of her words. He knew she meant Lady Lundgren. He understood then that he wasn’t a good match for her.
He had made Amelia unhappy because he couldn’t get past his selfish desire for freedom and adventure. How could he be sure he’d not do the same to Judith? And what if he confessed his feelings for her only to find their marriage dull within a few months? He’d rush away into the world, abandoning her, wouldn’t he? That was the person he was, after all. Amelia had made that clear.
He took a deep breath, realizing that he must do the right thing by Judith. He turned to her, trying to hide his inner conflict.
“Judith,” he began. “There is someone I’d like to introduce you to. Someone good and decent, a lover of music. Someone, I think, you could at least be contented with if not more.”
Judith looked up at him, surprise flickering in her eyes. “Oh?”
“Yes,” he said, forcing a smile. “He’s a kind man, respectable, and I believe he would appreciate you for who you are.”
Judith nodded slowly, a hint of uncertainty in her expression. “Who is he?”
“He is a good friend of mine,” Aaron replied. “He’s a gentleman I’ve known for some time. He only recently returned to town and has expressed a desire to wed.”
He hated how perfect he was making Graham sound to her.
“He wishes to be married?” she asked, her eyes wide, though there was some subtle sadness in them as well that he could not quite understand.
“Very much so, yes. He bought a house recently, large enough for a family.”
At this, she paused. “He did not have a home before?”
“Of course, he did,” he said quickly. “He is a gentleman—an earl. I mean he bought a home in town.”
She bobbed her head up and down, taking this in.
“An earl? Pray, what is his name?” she asked.
Aaron hesitated. If he told her his friend’s name, he’d have to introduce them—there would be no going back. Should he tell her that he saw them together in the park? No, she could never know that he’d hesitated to make the introduction, and Grahamcould never know that Aaron had known Judith was Judith Birks all along.
Aaron would look petty and untrustworthy, and he didn’t want to lose the high opinion his friend had of him—nor did he want to lose Judith’s trust. The mere thought tugged at his heart.
“Graham Baxter,” he revealed, letting the name tumble out rapidly before he could change his mind. “The Earl of Leeds.”
“Oh!” Judith exclaimed. “I met him at the park just before I got the news that John broke his leg. He was very charming.”
“Indeed, he is.”
“And handsome,” she added.
The word was like a dagger to his chest. She thought Graham handsome… Well, he was. Even Aaron knew this, but still, it bothered him that Judith thought so.
This is ridiculous. I am supposed to be helping her secure a match, not acting like a fool…
“Well, I am told he is. In any case, he is a good man, you will like him,” he assured her.
“I already do,” she replied and leaned back in her seat.
Aaron’s stomach churned, and his heart clenched. He wanted to take it back, tell her that he’d made a mistake, but he couldn’t.
“Well, very good then. Perhaps we will win that wager of ours sooner rather than later,” he said, forcing himself to sound cheerful.
She studied his face, her brow furrowing slightly. “Perhaps we shall. In any case, thank you, Aaron. I appreciate you looking out for me.”
Aaron nodded, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. “Of course, Judith. I want what’s best for you.”
As the carriage continued to rock gently back and forth, Aaron couldn’t shake the feeling of doom building within him. He had done the right thing, hadn’t he? He had to protect her, even if it meant sacrificing his own desires.
